graciebaby ♥

his voice?

2012-01-17T05:49:00.009+08:00

my heart's a stereo;
it beats for you, so listen close.

hear my thoughts in every note.

make me your radio;
turn me up when you feel low.

this melody was meant for you.

-- Gym Class Heroes; Stereo Hearts

for some cute reason, i absolutely melt with these lyrics. ♥

xx ♫

SPRING baby! ♡

2012-01-16T04:59:00.001+08:00

HELLO 2012!

HELLO 7TH&LAST ORIENTATION!

HELLO FINAL SEMESTER!

HELLO SUMMER EXCHANGE!

HELLO JOB!

there! my new year resolutions all in 5 lines! :D ♥ kidding! it's just that i decided not to do resolutions, as seen from how all of last year's were goners, and decided to go with targets. things that i have planned to do and will definitely be done by 2013. just wish me luck in ensuring how well it will be done by & how much i'll enjoy the process of it! ♥

spring orientation is over by now, thanks to my amazingly awesome procrastination of blogging my new year's list! but i have to say, i truly superly did enjoy this orientation. despite being in the greatly disadvantaged house due to HM/OGL splitting etc (what's new right?), i actually realised that screw it, my freshmen are all that matters. ♥ gave it my all this orientation, and threw my whole face being a hyper bunny on the 2nd day (was sick with fever and migraine the 1st. :( i tried, but i couldn't concentrate enough through the pounding in my head to even recall if i was being a good OGL on the 1st day.) to the extent that my teased 'catchphrase' is "LOVELOVE!" with the jumping bunny action. -.-" but i don't care really, i'm just happy i have such supercute freshies! :)) ♥ they are soooo cute and nice! :D i mean, every batch is nice from an OGL point of view, but i guess being more involved and into it this time makes me like everything x90751493805739753 more?! ♥ but SO CUTE!

oh yes! just had our OG lunch today! ♥

so cute they all! :'D ♥ freshmen, those were the days! :)) ♥

anw, that was my last orientation. ended it with a happy boom! :D ♥ am thankful that i went for a last go, ending it with my favorite number 7, favorite batch of freshies and the role i started liking council for the most; the super nice ogls. ♥ let's go, spring semmm! :D :D :D

bye bye beautiful! be back soon. ♥

; my heart's a stereo, it beats for you so listen close.

good habits.

2011-12-08T05:09:00.001+08:00

i've been trying to blog regularly. normal stuffs. things i used to blog about. with pictures. preferably an overload of pictures. such that when i read back, i can at least have visuals for it.

...and so i won't be SO in despair when my laptop crashed with its whole lifetime of memories. :'(

with the recent many findings of this space, maybe one day i'll release it publicly, like it was back in secondary school and jc.

maybe, just maybe. ♡

(birthday post soon.)

; give me symphonies,
give me more than the life i seek.

21.

2011-11-28T04:14:00.003+08:00

this post is dated as the 28th November 2011, as it fits best & most people would have long skimmed past it by viewing the latest. yes, this is a private blog, but i do realise recently many, way too many, people have been reading. this entry is extremely self-absorbed and filled with my ramblings, unedited, and off the top of my head feelings; therefore i'd rather it be laid low, for myself to read in distant years.

this is my 21st; the bits & pieces as i remember of it. ♡

i have never had a birthday party. i never had more than just family celebrating my birthday until i was 20 -- two decades of forgotten birthdays by friends who were more concentrated on it being our end-of-year holidays. in fact, i had always secretly wanted my birthday to fall on a school day; that never happened. not in 21 years of my life, not even in university. just so that maybe, just maybe, my classmates won't forget again and for-once-in-my-life celebrate my birthday with me. =/ i'm not pitying myself though, honestly i'm just thankful i even have my family to celebrate it with. :)) but i can't deny that there's a kind of happiness and loved (oh social theories) when friends not just remember but actually bother hold a celebration, no matter the size, for you. ♥ and i'm thankful.

for my 21st, i decided to hold a birthday party for the first time in my life. in every sense, i had never expected to do so every time my parents brought it up for the past 2-3 years, though my mum had always wanted me to. in my mind, i felt sharing the same birthdate as my dad also means i shouldn't BE celebrating my birthday so hugely when it's his birthday on the day too, which was why i refused it time and time again when my mum asked me. however, i changed my mind during early 2011. partly because of my mum's wishes, partly because my mum kept nagging at my big sis for her un-expectations-reaching 21st, partly because of self-ego, partly because the day i decided to hold it on will NOT be my dad's & i real birthday (hence not taking his well deserved birthday boy attention off him), but honestly? it was to make my mum feel proud when she sees an AMAZING party. that indeed, her daughters (cause my sis is THE BOMB) can indeed pull off a beautiful girly 21st party that BLOWS. HER. MIND.

so everything came apart the night before the 26th, when my mum softly told me she wouldn't be able to make it for my birthday party as she was extremely sick. because it then hit me that she was truthfully the main reason why i even held a party, wanted it to be beautiful, wanted it to be perfected, wanted her to feel proud. :( i went WAY over my budget, but i really wanted her to love it. and, guess who's the idiot who passed the cough to her? it was a slight throat infection on me, but for my mum, it spread to her lungs and caused a cough so bad she was bed ridden with muscle aches. honestly, just felt like shit being the worst daughter ever to cause her own mother such pain just because i didn't want to see a doctor properly earlier.

i think for the first time in my life, not because of getting canned, nor because of watching a sad movie together, i actually cried like a baby in front of my mum. :( because at that moment on her bed -- feeling how weak she was, feeling like the world's shittest daughter placed on earth, and feeling like i really do not want to hold my stupid birthday party without her -- i really couldn't take it. i don't cry easily, at least not from human emotions. pain, yes. family-related sad advertisements, yes. but not by human emotions happening right in front of me. i have a strong emotional control over myself because i hate it when people cry easily, and i refuse to be one of those girls. but like an idiot, i cried. =/ and i wanted to cancel the party.

i didn't. of course. there was almost $2,000 worth of deposit alr paid, my mum would probably dragged herself off the bed and saw my head off if i had cancelled. now, i am thankfully that i didn't cancel it. friends truly did make the whole party feel worth it, though there was always something missing, like an exam that didn't have an invigilator surveying you -- at the end of it, you didn't feel like you were given the proper marks. and i missed her, a lot, during it.

but, i have a lot to be thankful for. for one, my low self-esteem made me expect about half-to-none of the invited people to turn up. for another first time in my life, there were no 'Maybe Attending' or 'Not Attending' in a Facebook event (though mostly it was my friends being nice, yay! :D ♥). for two, my friends all helped out ALOT! the UBers did almost all the deco and the pretty backdrop for photobooth, jean & her little bro did ALL THE BEAUTIFUL BALLOONS from the grand balloon door entry to around the whole room to all the way down the stairs! ♥ i was so in love with the deco, it was dreamlike. :') my sister and her boyfriend and dom were amazing, they were my superheroes for the day! :D like for example, when the cake was coming and my sis realised there were NO PLATES, NO FORKS, NO SERVIETTES. GG. she drove all the way to park lane mall to find those supplies in time for the cake cutting! ♥ LIFESAVER! :') ♥ and of course, thank you God for the beautiful weather. :)) it was raining madly the entire day and week, yet in perfect timing for the party at 7pm, the rain stopped -- for the whole day till 2am. ♥ thank you God for being wonderful.

i made 3 identical wishes with the 3 different cakes i got through the week of my 21st. 1 from the party, 2 from dom and 3 from family. with all 3, i made the same wish, in hopes it will be thrice the strength in coming true.

it did.

my mum's all better now. everything is finally truly perfect. ♡

ciely

lyricals :)

2011-11-19T04:13:00.004+08:00

there i was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles. same old tired, lonely place. walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when i saw your face...

"I am enchanted to meet you."

all i can say is, it was enchanting to meet you too.

"Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you."

i'm wonderstuck. ♥

; this night is sparkling, don't you let it go.

hello november. ♡

2011-11-02T23:10:00.002+08:00

i both dread and love you, simultaneously. :) :( ♡

2011 is flying by so fast! i hope i can keep up.

; a music box to catch your tears.

ockoberfest-fest!

2011-10-24T03:08:00.001+08:00

school has been draining me; but your support has been sugarcoating my every sigh! ♡ even though i don't have the time+commitment to spend on you, you're still always here. :') thank you for that. thankyousuperduper.

; that someone whose smile makes you feel like you've been holding back.

je ne regrette rien?

2011-10-10T02:32:00.001+08:00

he says my falling for him is like one plunging into a nightmare. i say, he doesn't see what i'm dreaming. he says: "just don't wake up, please."

xx

; je ne regrette rien, indeed.

location: apple store!

2011-09-15T00:06:00.001+08:00

yay! blogger's finally made an app! :)) testing testing!

maybe i will be blogging more, afterall. ♡

; down corridors, through automatic doors.

silver linings

2011-09-05T02:28:00.007+08:00

"if my heart was a compass, you'd be north." ♡

it's fall, & i'm inspired. ♥

"i see hope is here, in a plastic box.
i've seen christmas lights, reflect in your eyes." ♡

tuition's ending for the year, i can finally spend time on my studies. armstrong + ugc + cumulative soc101 + comms mod? i can do this!!! also, i'll be going for another health test again to try and find out the problematic issue going on in my body. i really want to fix it. in addition, with council, i'm ready to take on more... to give my best shot for the last semester before leaving. fall housemaster, carnival games, pageant team. already, excited(: BIG BANG!

"lights will guide you home;
and i will try to fix you." ♡

about orientation, i kinda still can't believe i was a housemaster. it was a new experience, and i'm uber happy that my last orientation in events is this one, with everyone in my closest ub group in it together too. :)) NO REGRETS. ♥ and right after the phuket trip with UB friends, too. amazing how far we've all gone. summer break till fall has been good. thank you, God! :D ♥

in this, i've also found an ec in school! hahas, i don't know who he is, not not a crush. but, as expected, 3 days into school and i found out something that made me lose all interest. back to nunship! :)) funny how it doesn't even bother me. ec =/= feelings, completely.

for now... it's a week into fall, and it has already been interesting. ♥ i've never realised how sweet even non-close friends can be. the little texts to make your day, or popping by to say hello. just today was family day, went prawning at bishan, and just foursquare-tweet it. next thing, 2 school friends came by the prawning place separately to say hi, because they live nearby. i'm not even close to either, just hi-bye friends. it's really sweet, actually. ♥ thankful for the nice company!

i hope the rest of fall, and onwards, will be amazing. placing this in Your hands, it will be beautiful. :') ♥

; all my life i've felt this way,
but i could never find the words to say: stay.

the land of elephants(:

2011-08-12T22:55:00.003+08:00

HELLO from phuket! ♡

trip with uni friends have been A-MAZING so far!! :D jigglypuff songs, bargaining101, and of course due to orientation period, work as well. like aw, today's Day 2 night plans were cancelled due to wenrong & i having to stay-in the hotel for HM work over huge heavy laptops. :(

the others were all super sweet to skip city touring plans for buying back dinner as a group; everyone's happily eating in the girls' room (shared by jasmine, eve & i!) right now while watching some scary vampire-werewolf movie. hahaha! :)) GOOD THAI FOOD! (Y)

pray for good weather for the rest of our 6 days! ♡ maybe we can para-sail tmr if the good weather permits! can't wait! ^^ :D

&, on a final note, uber thankful for such an awesome group of UB friends in university! :)) ♡

; there's a place downtown where... (:

s.a.b.

2011-08-05T00:24:00.002+08:00

i want to learn the sign language. ♥

; it's not always rainbows & butterflies,
it's compromises that moves us along.

j for july?

2011-07-31T23:58:00.003+08:00

afsmotaw.

( go figure. )

; i can't believe the sight of you,
i want you to stay away from my heart.

summer & love?

2011-06-02T11:31:00.004+08:00

Because this girl…she’s something, really something. Funny, charming, clever, sweet, absolutely drop dead gorgeous…the whole package. And there’s no way in hell a girl like that could like a girl like me. Eventually, she told me that yes, she meant me. And I broke up with my girlfriend, not just for her, but a large part for her. And things, they seemed good. She makes me so happy that I have the most ridiculous smile on as soon as she just says hello.

So a couple of weeks later, when I find out she has a boyfriend, it makes no sense to me. It still doesn’t, we’ve barely spoken since, not about him. Or about us. But I did send her a letter, telling her that I want her. And I’m fighting for her, regardless of this boyfriend or the distance or anything.

One thing I failed to mention in this letter to her was that I will win. There’s no two ways about it; that girl has my heart and one day, I’ll have hers too.

sweetly right or morally wrong?

if you were in her shoes, would you give in or stay right where you are?

"the future is scary, but you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar."

but what if you're throwing away your life's greatest decision, just because the grass is always seems greener on the other side?

; according to him.

into the ocean; end it all

2011-05-10T02:05:00.005+08:00

this song (into the ocean by blue october) has been on repeat for this week; the lyrics are apt, and the background violin plays beautifully. ♥

a good, long talk with my bestfriend in university on relationships made me "wake up" on some of my friendships. the question is, why can't everyone just treat guy-girl friendships as friendships? i hate the cycle of being friends, becoming close, guy/girl suddenly confesses... and it all goes to awkward pieces. this always ruins beautiful friendships, and admittedly, i'm selfish, i want to keep my friendships. =/

for that, i live by simple rules:
1. befriend someone with intentions of being friends.
2. if one falls in love as the friendship progresses, always make sure it's mutual before making a move.
3. if it's not mutual, don't force it nor pressure the partner. simply treasure the friendship. ♥

sadly, ub bestfriend did point out obvious flaws and interesting points. take rule #1 for example, for most people, when they start eyecandy-ing or then crushing on someone, they would try their very best to get to know the person (facebook, classes, whatsapp etc). that's natural i guess? =/ for me, i treat my eyecandy as an eyecandy, just another stranger. if he's a friend, then yes, i would still treat him as a normal friend. i would never go after him; stranger or friend. in my anti-rejection self, a part of me believes that if he was interested he would make the first move. (which spring ec did, but... that's for another enstrangled time.) ♥ then comes rule #3, i can still hear his voice in my mind: "Easier said than done!" which is true, i've been there and done that. but up till today, i have no regrets never confessing to 'Bubbles' in junior college. knowing the truth might have been more hurtful than living with my idealised view of him. i'm contented, and still friends with him. in a way, i realise i treasured my friendship with him more than my own self-interest of being with him. ♥

anw, bestfriend and i came to the conclusion that both ways is awesome/sucky depending on the couple pairing. he scolded me for being too passive in giving myself a chance for a relationship. can you blame me though? :(

i understand most single friends my age are almost perpetually looking for love; looking to get attached. yes, it's painfully obvious, but anyone would still deny it. it's obvious in the fact that every other attractive single girl/guy they meet they consider their potential as a girlfriend/boyfriend; and try to go after said girl/guy if possible. for me, i DO still find "said girl/guy" attractive, but i'm not interested in being with him/her. maybe bestfriend's right, i'm scared of commitment. no one really gets how suffocated i feel being pressured into a relationship; having to be a girlfriend to someone as per social norms, having to design your schedule to perfectly rotate around his, having to always be seen as a pairing instead of as an individual, having to... i'd just rather not. no thank you.

into the ocean
by blue october

i spin, colliding into sound,
like whales beneath me diving down.
i'm sinking to the bottom of my
everything that freaks me out.
the lighthouse beam has just run out,
i'm cold as cold as cold can be.

i want to swim away but don't know how,
sometimes it feels just like i'm falling in the ocean.
let the waves up take me down,
let the hurricane set in motion.

where is the coastguard?
keep looking each direction
for a spotlight, give me something

not knowing how to think,
i scream aloud, begin to sink.
my legs and arms are broken down,
with envy for the solid ground.
i'm reaching for the life within me,
how can one man stop his ending?

now waking to the sun,
i calculate what i had done.
my will to quickly end it all,
sat front row in my need to fall.

my present mindset resolves around the lyrics of blue october's hit song. lyrics always gets me because of how cyrptic they are; a sentence can relate to anyone based on their own experience and current thoughts. naturally, my twitter/facebook status are usually lyricals than relates to what's happening at that moment, i prefer them over heartfelt words as they explain a hint of what's going on, yet keep secret a lot of details... only safely known and deciphered by the other person i've shared the moment with. :)) unclose friends who see those lyrics only assume it was a line randomly tweet-ed from a song, the one involved would know it's true meaning. ♥ lyrics, ftw.

so, in conclusion? into the ocean, end it all.

; i'm cold as cold as cold can be.

be kind. ♥

2011-04-04T03:06:00.005+08:00

with my little OCD about having a neat regular monthly archive, here i am back in april. :))

spring has been... hectic. but i'm living and breathing, so i feel really grateful. been seeing the doctor almost monthly now, some scan thingy next week and ultrascan (fasting needed, UGH.) in 3 weeks. :( i think i'll need to take up another tutee to get through all these bills. =/

but well, "never give up, it's such a wonderful life." :D

onto a brighter topic, one special thing about spring is that i finally have a UB eyecandy! :)) this feels so odd cause the last time i ec-ed someone in school was last year's spring (a whole year ago!). unfortunately, it lasted about only 2/3 weeks before said-ec started turning me off with his character. this year, he's a friend. he's been really nice in helping me with my mods, since he's taken most of them before being a senior and he's in some of my classes right now too. i wonder if this crush will last though? =/ i don't have the faith in myself being in love. so yes, note to self, back off from being too close. ♥ which i'm trying, but he's not really helping with the constant... ahh, bye. this isn't even a topic to be considered. moving on...

i recently read this statement on tumblr, "be kind to others, for everyone you face is fighting a hard battle." true that, everyone have their own set of problems. & in my head, i was thinking: of course be kind, afterall, life's too short to be anything else. ♥

; when i'm with you, i feel see-through.

his pledge to her:

2011-03-07T15:37:00.003+08:00

i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle, i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger. and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling. sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you. i will love you. i will love you.

♡

for the month of march,

2011-03-03T21:59:00.006+08:00

"take it, take it all. take all that i have.
i don't have the strength to resist or control you.
i'd give it all just to have you back."

i'm writing this post as i'm walking home, maroon 5's never gonna leave this bed started playing on shuffle. this brings back memories. ♥ you know how songs always reminds you, oddly not of the person you're infactuated with, but the person who first introduced that very song to you. this song is different i guess, no one introduced this to me. i first heard this song while in the cathay's gramophone with derrick, wenrong, joel etc. it was playing over the store, and i caught the tune so much that i actually went up to the counter to ask what song was it. quite out-of-character for me; i've never been one to make first moves, or any move for that matter. this even applies to tiny details like facebook: i don't add people. exceptions when they ask me to add, or they follow me on twitter thus seem rude to not do something back. ( event photographers and pretty girls excluded. :P ) without linkage, this song just reminds me of that very time-stopping calm lying in bed with the one you love, and knowing he loves you back. ♥ (clothes on of course, don't think dirty!) that feeling of just lying there, that peace and flutter of happy contentment. it's amazing. :)) ♥

just random, off-the-top-of-my-head thought. :)) super tired today, actually. eww-gc in the early morning, lunch and birthday-cake-mission with derrick, wenrong and debbie at KAP. ♥ cabbed back in time to surprise melissa paul with a whole bunch of ub-ers, which i think it's really sweet how so many people came together for the birthday girl. i always feel, a birthday celebration shouldn't be about getting a grand place with people only turning up because they HAVE to, but a birthday surprise that, though simple, actually involved the great amount of love and care held for the birthday person. i've seen birthdays that are all about image, and though successfully proceeded, doesn't even hit the natural laughs melissa's LT-style birthday cheered. :D anyways, after it, decided to skip the yong tau foo lunch with the birthday group as a lunch outing cause i was really tired and needed to crash badly. headed to the lounge, had a really good talk about school and people around us with a friend. i'm thankful for friends who are there for me, always and unconditionally. i hope i am as good a friend back, i try to be. :)) ♥

now, i'm walking home after a matt damon movie outing with derrick, syahril, joel, tzewoon, wenrong & daryl. happy to have caught this movie, the storyline is so cool! :D kays, reaching home alr. finally a real update. :D xx. ♥

; can we be wrong tonight?

lyricals:

2011-02-28T01:25:00.003+08:00

don't pretend you care. too bad, i break what i touch.

btw, i won't fall. ♥

; mackintosh braun & skylar grey.

dear some-kind-of-a-friend,

2011-02-19T17:40:00.004+08:00

the reason why i'm so cold to you is because i'm just getting myself ready for the next time you let me down.

that is, if i even decide to give you a next time.

there's a difference between giving up and simply knowing that i had enough of you. thanks.

regards,
a friend (a real one)

i quote,

2011-01-30T05:13:00.004+08:00

"There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything, but happy. Falling down is part of life. Getting back up is living."

randomly came across this from a friend's facebook status. absolute 'true that.' moment for me. :))

i love exactly where i'm at... this very moment. we don't get to choose our situations or where we are at, but we get to choose our friends. ♥

this week, a friend from school told me i'm his bestfriend. i never really did think about it, but, he's my university bestfriend too. not forgetting, my close group of other goodfriends who really look after me and have been there for me through it all. ♥ i've never actually said it out before, but i'm uber thankful for them, and everything they've done for me. university life have been amazing because of these people. :D thankyou.

have cny break, everyone! :)) ♥

; the best part of me was always you.

spring 2011

2011-01-13T00:18:00.005+08:00

"You know you're a Senior when you don't even bother to bring a camera for Orientation."

lol, true that actually.

orientation, was basically orientation. ♥

in summary? i was mostly heated with high fever for the first day, can't really even remember much cause my head was giddy and pumping like freaking painfully. :(( managed to bare through it for the day, but finally kocked out at night nearing the lampfire timing cause my temperature was hitting 38.9 degrees, really had to take medication then. slept, then woke up in time for overnight macs delivery by all the leaders group (ex-co, council members, ogls, gamemasters, etc) and a nice long talk on relationships with a friend... till 3.30am, and lights out. :D 2nd day, was fun, headache was still there, but bareable. og vs og games went well, yay! :)) ♥ most striking part of orientation? the ogls. best ever group of ogls; so many outstanding ones with strong spirit and crazy experience. i feel they really made orientation what it is. :D &, that's all. ♥

as a sidenote, not really looking forward to valentine's day. that yearly delima comes back up again.

bye bye beautiful, treasure the last week. spring 2011, is already different. :)) ♥

; just run with me through rows of speeding cars.

2011; the very first entry

2011-01-07T03:19:00.004+08:00

"everyone makes new year resolutions."

this came as a shocked to me. especially when seeing new year resolutions all over twitter, and sweet friends texting me to ask me on what mine were and if they were a part of it, lol! :)) ♥ i never did realise it, but i've not written -- or even thought of writing -- new year resolutions since 2006 (5 years ago!). it just never occured to me anymore since i never do succeed in fufilling them, and that's sad, really, cause i usually put my dreams into it. :( therefore, this year, let's start something new. new year resolutions are back in, but no more unrealistic fantasies. i'll take vauge baby steps, and climb it all. (: ♥

2011; TWENTY-ELEVEN ♥

SOCIALISE
i need to stop distancing myself from people who i don't consider part of my life. the reason why i started being this way is because of trust ruined, by certain backstabbing friends. however, a friend recently told me, "you'll never know who's going to be apart of it, if you don't let anyone in." true that. i will try, hopefully 2011 won't bring the same disappointments as 2010 did in that department.
BE CURED
this is important. i do know i need to see the doctor again, but i'm been pushing it off since july... and it's getting worse. i'll see the doctor again, in feb. i have to. part of this NYR (new year resolution) is to make an appointment for the doctor's for feb.
EAT MORE VEGES
for health reasons.
EXCERISE
also for health reasons; 3 times a week, as per doctor's instructions. in the whole YEAR of 2010, i only ran ONCE... for the length of 2.4km. :(
DEAN'S LIST, AGAIN
being greedy here, but i really want to get it a second time running, even with ugc involved. i can do this, i'm me afterall.
BE ON TIME
i didn't state early... but on time. i'm quite tired of being late. and i'm putting this after all the health part because that was my draining factor for school lateness.
SLEEP FOR MORE THAN 8 HOURS ON SCHOOLDAYS
SLEEP FOR LESS THAN 15 HOURS ON HOLIDAYS
SURVIVE 9 MONTHS OF BESTIE IN AUSTRALIA
less fights and more facetime! :)) ♥ because life sucks without a bestfriend. :D
HAVE AN AMAZING 21ST
this includes the whole year. this is the final year of yet being an adult, i'll cherish that. and when the day comes that it's official, i'll remember that too. ♥
APPRECIATE ♥
cause everyone deserves to be. :)) ♥

this is it. eleven resolutions for 2011, just because it's a nice number. i have many more in my head, but i believe things will work their way, as long as it's pushed in the right directions. :D this will be done. :)) ♥

above all, this week, something happened.

people, were surprising. (: ♥

bye bye beautifuls, happy spring semester. :D ♥

; like a soap bubble, fragile and ephemeral.

fall break! ♥

2010-12-26T18:07:00.004+08:00

FIRST DAY i've been just staying at home in the 2 WHOLE WEEKS of fall's break! uberrrr tired! :( ♥ though, technically, i've not been home the entire day since my family went over to my aunt's place for a boxing day lunch. but still, it kinda counts! :)) ♥

christmas has been rather amazing. 5 parties day-by-day! with amazing friends that i wouldn't trade anything for! :D ♥ but gonna makeup for the late nights with more stayhome days! :)) ♥

the only downside is that i'm sick; like man-voice, stuffy nose, fever-ishly sick. :( bad timing really. but no illness is going to stop christmas! :D :D :D :)) ♥ whee!

bye bye beautifuls. the forth kind is waiting! :D ♥

; baby, you are firework.

note to you:

2010-12-19T02:25:00.006+08:00

i trust you, but that doesn't mean jealousy won't exist anymore.

i can't help it.

; forgave but will never forget.

when everything's made to be broken,

2010-12-14T03:14:00.007+08:00

Him: "I don't want you to leave. I want you back into my life."
Her: "I want you to stay away from my heart."

today, a lot has been on my mind. i might be overthinking things, but i feel really insecure about certain relationships. i feel like i'm losing someone really important to me. things just, don't feel the same anymore. i don't feel loved.

things being on my mind makes me less tolerant to others. got pissed off over the smallest things said by close friends, even when it wasn't negative words. it's just not the right time to get on my nerves. i'm sorry if you were one of those i ignored today. it's not exactly the best time to catch me.

for relief,

"when everything feels like the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive."

bye bye beautifuls.

; you're the closest to heaven that i will ever be.

happy moments lie ahead!

2010-12-08T19:25:00.010+08:00

i'm in holiday mood already!! :D ♥ NOT GOOD.

i realised i perpetually look like i just woke up, refer to above picture proof. =/ very apt for being on holiday spirit because i've been sleeping like time is free. when it's totally not! esp not with two upcoming papers. :(

on a brighter note, been studying with this silk pink ribbon on the top of my head! :D ♥

it's supposed to be inspirational cause i love, love, loveee this shade of pink plus IT'S SILKYYYY. :)) ♥ ♥ ♥ BUT, it's becoming more a bane because i keep figetting with it cause it's so nice to touch! :D i was playing with it more majority of the time that should have been spent on notes instead. :(
le sigh. ♥ i feel like a kitten given a yarn ball. =/

in addition to the pink silky ribbon hairtie, my mum recently bought for me this superrrrr pretty bracelet! :)) ♥ it's baby pink with all my favorite charms!! ♥ ♥ really, i think it's by far my favorite accessory right now cause i really love the heart, cross, peace, heart-key dangling charms that comes with it! :)) plus it's leather plaited rope for its base, my favorite! ♥

speaking of accessories, yesterday, nira so cutely came up to me after soc294 paper and passed me this! :)) ♥

i loveee the shade of sea blue-green!! :)) ♥ plus it's handmade by her! i'm super envious of her talent to make arts like this! :D ♥ ♥ ♥ and so cute, it's for my birthday. :D ♥ i really didn't expect most friends to remember or bother getting a present, so it's extra sweet that she did. :)) really happy to have met amazing dears in ubbb! :D ♥

one of the things i realised about birthdays, is that you realise who bothers and who don't care enough to. to that, i'm really thankful to heaven for sending angels around me on earth! ♥

backkk to holiday mood! :)) ♥ immediately went to watch narnia after yday's two papers! actually i was really sleepy because, as usual, i only started reading the chapters the day before the papers, which meant i only slept at 5am, overslept, and had to cab down to school. :( but felt SO energized after the papers ended, so decided to go out instead of heading home to crash! :D

on about the papers, soc294 was theory-filled, but i'm thankful for having an amazingggg lifesaver who came over to teach me EVERYTHING that has been going on in class for the past... ever single lesson of soc294. (i realise i only attended 3 lessons, 2 of which i was late for, and that scares me.) the results were out after comms class, i checked and i didn't do well at all, but i'm still megaaa grateful for even passing in the first place. :D ♥ thank you to a certain guardian angel. :)) ♥ after it was com231, which was relatively easy except for the true&false questions. (:

then, it was narnia with dommmm! hi bestie! :D

so cute! ♥

we literally just spammed his camera with my favorite apple app! :)) ♥ superrr fun!

kays, going to continue fixing up my new schedule book for 2011 now! :D plus my stickers have arrived! excitedddd ttm! :DDD ♥ bye bye beautifuls! :)) ♥

; i'm no superman, i hope you like me as i am.

in sickness and in health?

2010-12-04T22:49:00.005+08:00

today, i couldn't breathe.

my health is deteriorating, and i know it. the past few months of abdominal pain, the root cause of my constant lateness during morning lessons since mid-summer semester, has gotten worse this sem. it comes almost three to five times a week now. recently, it seemed to have died down to twice or thrice, but it comes more painfully than ever. will this ever be cured? :(

as of yesterday, my taste buds is... different. the left upper corner of my tounge can't seem to taste properly anymore, certain food tastes like rotted vegan-like soya. i'm know it's not the food that's spoilt, because the other parts of my tounge can taste it normally. it's just that small part that ruins the entire taste and makes the edible food puke-worthy. i'm losing appetite for certain foods, such as digestive biscuits that i love, loved, loved so much, just because of the disgusting taste that is tasted now.

today, i just had so much trouble breathing. it's like there's too much air in my chest, that i can't suck in enough to breathe comfortably. at first, i thought it's the crowd in orchard... i never do well in crowded places (being short and all doesn't really help). i don't know what's wrong, but i kept feeling like there's so much empty air in my chest, that i kept having regurgetating reactions, like i wanted to vomit air? i don't know how to explain it.

the walk back home was insufferable. cause i could barely breathe throughout the day, by night my head was dizzy and almost throbbing from the lack of oxygen and energy. i could feel my heart thumping irregularly loud from my arms (i don't get why the arms either, i just felt it from there). i've never felt so weak before. but i was saving on my bus fare, so i chose to walk home. i was worried sick that i might faint on my walk back, i actually dumbly typed a shown-in-standby-wallpaper note that if anything happens to call my dad and his number there.

i'm home safe, but my body's still weak. and i've not even started on any exam notes/revision yet, at all, completely. and i know that's completely off the topic of health, but it just came up in my head. i guess the stress on schoolwork is finally coming and hitting home.

you know what's the hardest part of this? not letting anyone know. because what's the point of putting your own burden onto others' shoulders?

enough.

; it's not always rainbows and butterflies.

birthday bash!

2010-11-30T01:34:00.009+08:00

this year, the people in my life celebrated my birthday... five amazing times. ♥

can you ever feel more loved?

I FEEL LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW. ♥

love, life. ♥

; if ten million fireflies light up the world as i fell asleep.

starstruckk!

2010-11-26T05:33:00.003+08:00

i'm stumfounded. it's like stumped and dumbfounded altogether.

first it was the surprise by derrick & syahril, bringing dom "back" a whole 5 hours ahead of time while we were lunching together at the airport. (dom's flight was supposedly "9.25pm".) then today, i got the biggest unexpected surprise from ub-ers. a whole candle-filled birthday down from my house door to the court. it was amazing. ♥

i'm at loss of words because i never really celebrated birthdays with friends before. the past 4 years had my birthdays overseas, while the years before that were all school holidays. this year, i expected the same routine passing by of the day; non-celebratory. for that reason, i didn't bother to plan anything. for that very same reason, i'm really, really touched and thankful for people who put in effort and made tonight really impossibly beautiful. ♥ i'm really grateful.

on the topic of surprise, i'm really stunted by the presents. a 32-people shared nintendo wii and special guitar hero aside really, really meant a lot to me, not for the price, but for the fact that more than thirty people were even willing to chip in a to-me rather hefty price for someone as undeserving as me. what's more, that especially sweet friends actually STILL got individual presents on their own, like the super cute despicable me shirt from debbie, nanda, gabbie and ryan, a whole bagful of different wrapped items from tzewoon and unexpectedly tay junior, tay yu!, a pretty chanel piece from lorin, and the cute pink package from chris. :)) ♥ and it's just school friends. i'm undeserved, but thankful. really, really thankful.

and it's not even my birthday yet.

going to pack my bags now, leaving tmr for resorts world hotel 3D2N stayover with family and cousins, to celebrate the birthday with my dad who turns 49 this year. love this weekend. love life. :D ♥ bye bye beautiful!

; you are my shooting star, that's why you are my favorite.

upon a star

2010-11-26T01:35:00.004+08:00

is it awful to wish that...?

i've always been a contradiction to self. a number of people were asking what i'd want for my birthday. all of which, i've given the same reply, "i don't know." which is true, i really don't know. because, all the material things that i do want, i can already get myself when i save for it. those that i can't get myself are like iphone4 or a olympus ep 1, which is too overpriced for anyone to afford as a present either way. furthermore, i don't like wrapped presents that i already know what would be in it. :( that ruins the fun of the wrapping paper part. :( sometimes i feel weird and like i don't really belong here.

blog reopened.

; when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile.

in loving memory of

2010-11-23T15:05:00.003+08:00

jaslyn janessa tan ♥

the reality finally hit me that you're really gone. it hit while i was on my way home from school nearing midnight, as my 74 bus passed by the Church of BVM (the very place your wake was held at in october) and with +44's Litte Death (your last song left before you went) playing on shuffle. it hit, hard.

i cried my whole walk back home.

one last time: goodbye, and i love you jassie.

save. a. life.

2010-10-02T20:13:00.009+08:00

a close, once bestfriend of mine committed suicide today.

this space reminds me too much of how, when we first started blogging in secondary two, we used to comment-spam each other and you constantly changed blog urls and made me relink you almost every quarter of a year. stupid and insignificant, but i can't help remembering that.

blog closed for now.

conundrum

2010-09-27T01:02:00.005+08:00

"skipping beats, blushing cheeks;
i am struggling.
daydreaming, bed scenes in the corner cafe,
and then i'm left in bits recovering tectonic tremblings;
you get me every time.

why'd you have to be so cute?
it's impossible to ignore you.
must you make me laugh so much?
it's bad enough we get along so well.
say goodnight and go."

-- imogen heap, goodnight & go

spring, jump, fall! ♥

2010-09-25T01:34:00.013+08:00

fall, to be honest, has been boring.

however, not in the sense that there is nothing happening, because gosh, things are running fast and furious! :D ♥ ♥ but it's the way it's SO predictable that really bores me to the core. i like it a little more surprising, people to be a little less typical, and for there to be more faith and love instead of all the usual patterns. :)) ♥

anyways, backtrack on how fall has been! picturespeak works best! ♥

ranger's leaders night at timbre! :D ♥ ♥

super saturday at andrew's place! :)) ♥

gabbie's birthday surprise! :D ♥

preeya sexaye's 21st partyyy! :)) ♥

laguana country club with lea & weiyun! (turned awesome catchup session!) :D ♥

& it's only been 3 weeks! crazy, every weekend. (: either way, those are the main group outings, in complete brief for summary sake. :) ♥ the single outings are kept private, by personal preference.

meanwhile, got back home from a really deeppppp talk with a goodfriend in school, till effing 10pm! :D but it feels really great to finally have a second UB friend to whom i can truly pour everything out to and, starting to, feel safe about it. hopefully the trust doesn't get wavered off.

"People gravite towards you." -- this is one line i will never forget tonight. because it does surprise me, yet i value certain special people's perspective. although i don't feel that i attract groups together, i do realise that i'm never alone, not by choice. and i have never been alone for my life; at every phase, there will be friends protecting and being there. that i am thankful for, and i hope they will be happy friends when around us together. ♥

we also talked about formspring, and the questions that i received. and i admitted one thing, i don't take into account the people who asked the questions on formspring. because to me, they're not "real" people, in the sense that it voids off as a true unique vote. i know in there, there have been several few who kept insisting that i'm popular in school, but really? those opinions DON'T count from my point of view, because really, just based off some unknown perhaps-not-even-a-friend judgement? furthermore, formspring is pretty fake in the way that it's anon too. the same person can comment more than just once, so i don't trust the numbers in formspring. i work by logic, not by superficiality. :)) ♥ that is why i'm not impressed by the questions/compliments received there, it don't mean a thing to me. ♥

on the note random questioning, recently a few people had came up to me and "confabulated". in our funny talks, i realised there's been an increasing number who mentioned me to join pageant? it feels like jc days all over again, i don't know if that's a good or bad thing. but one thing that i'm sure of: i'm not fake like some other scheming girls, and that is a good thing. on the side note, i'm thankful that the people who asked were being nice, and being real enough to come up and say it face-to-face. those; i trust. relational uppers are indeed sweet people. :)) ♥ at the same time, it is harder to ignore when it's requested right up to your face. how am i going to keep this up?

bye bye beautiful! ♥

; when you smile, the whole world stops and stare for awhile.

three wishes

2010-09-15T22:13:00.006+08:00

i'm not perfect, i know that, but i keep trying. i still have my confusions, was it something i said or just my personality? but what has passed, is the past. i believe, at the end of the day, if you can view beyond the superficial hurt, everything will be okay. ♥

on a more light and today focused thought, i hate being sick. :( this morning, woke up to an unexpected fever, texted two friends -- one who would definitely be in our lecture and one who should know, dosed on two panadols, and crashed back to a taxing sleep. about 3pm, finally rested enough, fever went down too. :) i think i must have left my phone on after texting, when i flipped it on it was waiting on 19 new messages. scared the life out of me wondering if i missed an exam or something that everyone was contacting me urgently to attend for! =/ thankfully, not the case. it was just friends being really, really sweet by msg-ing well wishes to take care. i felt really touched, super actually. i even sent a little prayer up to heaven in being thankful for having amazing friends that care enough to send a tiny text, and for them to be safe from sickness too, because happy karma should be returned. :D ♥

yeah! back on the topic of the quotes, good karma, definitely. i really like the line about trust, and i'm banking on it, hope it won't break and bite me in the back this time. give a little love, have a little faith. :)) ♥

; i'm not perfect, but i keep trying.

happy-go-unlucky

2010-09-13T01:07:00.004+08:00

today, i let myself be a little free from my close guard. i ease up on strangers on my short trip out to store up my food cupboard, i went online (truly online; no busy/away/appear offline mode) for the first time in years, and be more myself that i usually am. the noisy side that only goodfriends know of; the happy-go-lucky side that is always well hidden deep inside.

i used to be happy-go-lucky. naively, amusingly, uncautiously happy-go-lucky.

the girl who talked to random strangers on the bus on every. single. bus ride. that crazy and unprotected. however, then came the problem. friends hated on me, on how i was "too friendly" with people, especially so, friend's eyecandies/crushes/girlfriends/boyfriends. just for being nice. i remember that part clearly, i grew to shut myself up. friends over feelings. the most impactful, till today, is how i live by the rule of strictly being away from guys my girl friends likes, even if it's just an eyecandy. they just become a turnoff to me, without my concious realisation of the effect, the moment i know of what's going on. same goes with guys who are popular, like the one of the sliding doors, too risky as a potential guy of many girls' noticing. immediate strikeout. it confuses some of my friends why the sudden 180 degrees change in mindset, but like i always say, "i have my reasons." it's just a reason they won't get, till they experience the taunting been through, and the hate.

i've closed up, alot.

now, this crazy, amazingly, freely high side is only seen by good friends, like dominic, and my own sister and brother, without a doubt. once or twice, i let down my guard, be a bit more myself, and people who don't know me would tell me that doesn't seem like me. it's how i know, who truly knows, me. ♥

sorry for all the sad talk. :( i just miss the old me. some days, like right now, i wish i could easily pull down all my guards to let out the silly, free one inside, forever out. sadly, after years, you start to become who you pretend to be. i'm actually almost successfully turning out to be the anti-social introvert i tried so hard to be, years ago. i still tell people i am that today, self-conception. though, honestly, being the contradictory girl that i am, i know inside is the too-extroverted spark that i worked hard to keep down. it's getting easier, but it doesn't hide the fact that it's still there. ♥

just wondering, if i do let it out, will it receive the same backlash as history repeats itself? i hope not.

with a change in topic, the script's breakeven is playing on repeat mode. i feel for this song, because i know of someone in that position, and i feel for both parties.

her best days will be some of my worst,
she finally met a man that's gonna put her first,
while i'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping,
cause when a heart breaks it don't break even

what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
what am i supposed to say when i'm all choked up and you're okay
i'm falling to pieces
when a heart breaks it don't break even

-- The Script, Breakeven (Falling to Pieces)

everything will be okay. it always will be. ♥ give a little love, have a little faith. bye bye beautifuls.

; when the best part of me was always you.

watch stars crash into the sea

2010-09-12T13:40:00.004+08:00

nothing hurts more to me than a goodfriend being in pain. i can't help the situation, but i can be there for him. & i'll just pray that everything will be okay. ♥

enough about love.

yesterday, was a long day. reached home about 5.15am, despite planning to be home by latest 2, mostly because of something else. 6 of my fall batch OG-ers were there, they left about 3-4am, and i feel happy that they had a good time. :) 2 of my summer batch OG-ers came too, nice. :D the ub house party was good, though most of my time was spent hiding outside by the pool with closer friends, lightly dipping. i love the waters and the bubble foams. ♥ and i always prefer quiet nights with friends over loud music, therefore we kept rushing to shut the glass door to dim down the music. so awesome. :) ♥

Don't pout. It's not attractive for a woman of your age.

TVD has been epicly amazing. i don't say that for most, due to higher expectations. but this one, the new season and the end of the last, has been heart-thumpingly moving. i love it. ♥ don't let go. never give up, it's such a wonderful life. :) ♥

on a side note, my brother is such a little idiot. he told me, "Every time you come into my room, my bed gets messed up. You're like a little child." PSH. he's the one who's 6 years younger! :( the only truth in that comment was the bed part. i realised, i have this habit of sitting/sleeping on beds when i see them, lol! like, at any friend's house, the first i get to is the bed because i love sleeping on beds, it's super comfy. ♥ and naturally, you have to push up the blankets when in a bed, it's a combi thingy. so yeah, i always mess up his bed when i get to his room, because i'll snuggle right under almost immediately. :)) ♥ but note to self to change that habit, it's not a very suggestive thing to do at other friends' houses. =/

bye bye beautifuls, going to fix up the printer my dad bought on thursday with my little brother. hope it works fine. :D then i can stop burdening derrick to print all the homework stuff. :) byeee!

; there's something in the air, they share a look in silence.

in a heartbeat, twice

2010-09-10T18:30:00.006+08:00

every few seconds, i hesitate to swallow because it hurts like omg-crap in my throat. :( and every hour i check my temperature and pray to God it won't go higher... i can't afford to fall sick.

tmr will be a crazy day. 2 individual tutee classes in the morning, meeting up with a friend, 2 different hari raya house visits, and a ub house party at night. too packed. :(

mentally sorting through which i can possibly shift by in order to breathe, but it's not likely for any. =/ morning tutions are definitely not a choice to take leave from, for my tutee kids' exams are nearing in a month's time. hari raya visiting is neccessary, for good manners and experience. though, with this throat, i won't be able to enjoy the food goodies at the house visitings for sure. :( meet up with the friend is a definite, it's so hard to match schedules itself. :) finally, i had decided to skip the ub house party at night. however, my fall og's girls just texted me a while ago, worried about feeling awkward there, so i promised them i would drop by and take care of them. how now brown cow? my day is still packed too tight.

if i fall sick, i would disappoint too many people. :(

it's decided. bye bye beautifuls, am going to spam on lozenges and mineral water. ♥ i will get well by tonight! ♥ ♥ ♥ i must.

; beauty queen of only eighteen, she had some troubles with herself.

all my secrets away

2010-09-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

when this happens to both parties, we're protecting the third person.

; now i'm caught in the middle.

shopping problem

2010-09-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

dom [JEA] on my [hey stranger] recent online shopping addiction.

---

JEA says:
> get already only put in the cupboard
> to collect dust
> then later at 30 years old when you clearing up your cupboard you think omggg this would look nice for dom's daughter i should give it to her

hey stranger...perfectly. says:
> no
> i will wear it

JEA says:
> then in the end give me
> WHY YOU BUYING DRESS FOR ME
> OMG

---

hahahaa, one of the thousands of reasons i love talking with bestie. always making me laugh in front of my own screen! :)) ♥

but really, online shopping is SO addictive. for someone who hates shopping, it's super convenient. only bad point; most of the clothes bought turned out TOO big. :( i'll learn one day. this is just a phase that i'm going through. :D ♥

SO CUTE! :D ♥ ♥ ♥ sleeping early tonight, bye bye beautifuls! :)) ♥

; i'll buy a ticket to the end of a rainbow.

anonymous strangers

2010-09-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

formspring is starting to scare me. too many people from UB. all these creepy, too-close-for-comfort questions are starting to make me self-concious of what's happening around me, and it's getting harder to ignore. i just opened it like what? 3 weeks ago? and already i have been having questions pouring in on a daily basis! i don't even promote my formspring! :( there's more than enough questions about my life, my friends, my relationships... it's too much.

to lock, or not to lock? :(

super tired, i will debate this another day. just came back from dinner at carls jr and ben&jerry's dessert with derrick, nanda, gabrielle, bobby, tzewoon and debbie. ♥ it was pouring heavily so i simply threw on my brother's huge long sleeve top and shorts and went out. never realised HOW awesome comfy it is, i was practically swimming in it! LOL. veryyy sleepy after! :D bed's calling. nighty nights, sweetest dreams! :)) ♥

; a puzzle made of pieces you can't find.

our golden silence

2010-09-05T13:43:00.000+08:00

what do you do when the guy of your goodfriend's dreams goes after you?

reject.

i'm sorry. it's not that i'm not interested, it's that you're taken, in my eyes. it should be rather obvious with the direction i'm pushing you towards chasing. please don't break her heart, and never let her know who you went for before her. that's the only way all three of us can still be friends. ♥

; i'll keep you my dirty little secret, don't tell anyone.

undateable.

2010-09-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

that's the word a friend used to describe me. really? =/

to be honest, i do think those doors were closed a long time ago. recently, last month, i did felt ready again. after a good long talk with the friend, i realised, perhaps i may not exactly be. dating is just too tiring, and i really, really like the just-friends part to be more extended, instead of how most girls try to rush into relationships, using the friends part as just an excuse to get closer to the guy. i'm not like that. i really want the friendship part to last longer. and if he can wait, can spend time with you as a true friend, then you'd know that he's not just chasing to just get a girlfriend, he's chasing to be with you.

"I will wait for you, even if I have to wait until my heart stops beating."

xx

wake me up

2010-09-02T00:11:00.007+08:00

...when september ends. ♥

seriously! i'm pretty sure i'll get some wakeup call to start studying when this month ends. already, there's soc294 homework in the online portal, and its only the 2nd day of school. UGH. :( NOT going to click on that, shall finish it in class tmr. I NEED A LONGER HOLIDAY. =/

impromptu shot by wenrong today while at the atrium with the group looking through the casting call stuff. don't mind the seriousness look because I WAS SUPER CRAVING FOR ICECREAM! :( :( :( ♥

and gabbie's bestfriend ryan actually took a photo after persuasion to do it, super funny! :D

i was craving for icecream, so afterschool, met up with the group and went down hong kong cafe, cause we were starving too by then! :)

FRENCH TOAST! (: ♥

DIMSUM! ♥ ♥ ♥

(i forgot to take the hargow cause i was too busy eating alr! LOL! :D )

MANGO SNOWICE! :D ♥ ♥ to sastisfy my icecream craving! :))

awesome! :D i'm super full right now still! :)) ♥ ♥

will probably be blogging less frequently due to school reopening. plus, realised it's not very safe here cause tony did a search thingy to show me, and it's FREAKING easy to find my blog on google! :( :( :( he just searched 'grace srjc touch rugby' and he found links alr. :( for that reason, to save the privacy of fellow friends, i didn't put any pictures of other people in this post, and the future post, unless neccessary. it's horrible, but i'm surprised though, WHY WOULD ANYONE GOOGLE ME?! apparently, from bestie, it's not surprising for that to happen. i'm quite creeped out by that possiblity! =/

okay, need to sleep early! LONGGG DAY TMR! :( and dinner with rangers' team OGLs after. bye bye beautifuls! :)) ♥

; i'm telling you things you really shouldn't know.

a little spark!

2010-08-28T01:39:00.005+08:00

my friend & i were talking randomly about how come our outings always have a selected special few people involved, while only the bigger group meetings will they invite others that are usually not included in our circle. and i was extra curious since i realised that yday night when msging with a dear friend especially so.

he just said, "Think about it. When we meet up and go out as a group of friends, they only want to meet to take pictures and post it up on Facebook to pretend to the world that they have some sort of a social life. We don't want that, we meet because we want to see each other, not for superficial publicity purposes." i don't guarantee that word-for-word, since all i remember was the bolded words and certain adjectives that really, really stood out and impacted hard. true, that.

glided, indeed. :(

after it, i became a lot more concious of friends who do that. it's a bit worrying see who are those prototypes, and worse when i don't get why. is there really a need to prove one's own social life? isn't quality overruling quantity? thankfully, i hide 50% of meetup photos from facebook. only the group outings pictures are posted up there, since those photos are not mine to keep. for i know, i do not need to prove my social life to anyone on a social network. (:

the topic went into a deeeppppp topic on 'quantity of friends' over 'quality of friendship'. ALMOST DIED PLS. felt so heavy after all that talk! lol! :)

anyways, kept getting teased today when going out with UB-ers from uni! about how i never do ask people out! :( basically, it was SUPER random! yday night cause i got lost on the way to ecp/pasar ris to meet the duckies, i had this huge urge to watch Step Up in 3D. so i just texted 3 people, and well, when you invite one, you have to invite the other, so had to pass on the msg to more links after it. and surprisingly, everyone that i texted were so awesome in making it! :D HOWEVER, right before saying yes, i receive so many "Are you dating me out!!!?", "The Sun has risen from the West today!" and "YOU're asking me OUT?!" replies! SERIOUSLY AM I THAT DAO?! :(

i mean, i admit to not USUALLY asking people out. i have my own reasons for that. but really, i can't be that cold right! i remember planning for an outing once this year before!..... or maybe last year actually. okay, so maybe i really never do ask anyone out. but it's in my nature, i'm an introvert... sort of.

but yayy, after it, those friends were awesome please. "Wa! Grace ask out? State time, state place, I will confirm appear!" awww, i feel super touched! i love friends that you can always count on to be there for you! :D♥ ♥ ♥

one single picture, cause i'm super tired right now. basically, the most important person in the meetup for me! :)

my first friend in UB, nat; because it's been forever since we last met (excluding the vivo thingy since i was there for like only 2 hours??), and really, orientation is so not the same hype without her. literally, i missed having someone like her to go around camp and bunking together, being with my other OGL friend sand bunking with them is just, different, not as fun somehow. :( though i'm thankful for both orientations' bunk mates for being super caring, and for waking me up in the morning since i'm immune to my phone alarm. super thankful! :D

so, she was the one i was looking forward to meeting up with today the most, though everyone else was super important as well, but it's just not the same as the ONLY one who's actually working office hours during the hols, amazing really! :) plus, gosh, i really LOVE her tiedye top!! :D it's OFFSHOULDER SOMEMORE! :D :D :D :)) ♥ super gorgeous, jealous! :D i can't wait till i actually find a proper shirt to tiedye since i bought the baby pink, baby blue and baby purple dye colours A WHOLE GAP YEAR AGO! =/

swensens after dinner, superrrr full! anyways, kays! SO TIRED. reached home like nearing 12 midnight. :( another time. bye bye beautiful! :)) ♥

; he's got the cutest laugh i've ever heard.

going backwards

2010-08-27T13:09:00.003+08:00

it's not that i want to leave, it's that i have to take a step back in order to let her be happy. though she may not treat me the same way, i'm going to be a true friend... even if it means sacrificing you.

goodbye goodfriends, hello acquaintances.

life priorities

2010-08-26T01:14:00.006+08:00

He who does not understand your silence
will not understand your words

true that. despite knowing the loyalty present behind his actions, i can't help but still feel that he's not worthy anymore. when you go with people who are inhuman, that makes you inhuman in my eyes as well. i work differently from most with strangers and friends alike; i trust everyone, until they ruin it. when that trust is gone, i'll always forgive, but i will never forget that you had broken it once before... and you may so very well do it again. and he just did.

tiny and insignificant as the action may be, it still matters to me because the previous scar is raw and open. the trust that was slowly building back up has been taken away immediately, the priority in close friendship has been swiftly changed, and the most evident to myself, my view of the person. suddenly, what seemed cute look irkful, what seemed pridefully exclusive look fake and in actual fact very easy to access, what seemed caring felt oddly intrusive, just like a hidden agenda. i value loyalty in friends very, very highly. therefore, he's not mine for a friend anymore, not to me.

welcome, fall. changes in life, indeed. & i'm embracing it! (:

; he was there to help her, she always belonged to someone else.

caught in the act

2010-08-24T00:48:00.000+08:00

people really underestimate how easily things can be found out through the internet. IP address, background listing, and all. for me, i do suck at that... but i have friends who are creepily, amazingly detailed in their checking. tonight, i found some stuff out.

it's very amusing, really. the things some people do.

glided, nonetheless.

it's just, sad. but i won't say a thing, because i care enough not to ruin people's reputation... though honestly, that one rep has long been ruined single-handedly.

---

cookie baking was fun today. more soon! :) ♥

; i know where you hide, alone in your car.

cookies lovee! ♥

2010-08-23T01:01:00.005+08:00

ogl meeting today! :D

our rangers board is done!!! :)) ♥

and so is my french nails! :D ♥ ♥ hahas!

finally, also coloured finished the name tags! ♥

after it, rushed to my tutee kid's place for math lesson!

when it finished, rushed down to hougang to meet derrick & tony! :))

FOR?? :D

COOKIEEEEEEES! :D ♥ ♥ ♥

this is derrick with his today's new haircut which is totally china-like! hahas, hence the monk style! :D

and this two other nonsense dears who watched us bake! :)) ♥

the end product?

A MOUNTAIN OF COOKIES! :D ♥ ♥ ♥

mine's the double chocolate ones, derrick's the chocolate chip ones! BOTH AWESOME! :)) ♥

TA-DAAAAA! :D ♥ ♥ ♥

HAPPY SUMMER! :)) we're SO EXCITED!!! ♥

; you're rocking up my sugar candy cherry world.

breakfast gossip

2010-08-22T14:05:00.012+08:00

We will all laugh
at gilded butterflies. ♥

but... you're no butterfly, you're a moth.

& you know it very well. ( P.S. so do we. )

; an exchange, of secret smiles and inner sparkles. (:

chompchomps love!

2010-08-20T03:06:00.004+08:00

through this week, i've made several big decisions. regarding one of them is what i have been busy with this week, orientation. i love it, really, especially with my closest friends in UB together in this! :D ♥ however, i realised, this will probably be the last time i'll be ogl-ing for orientation. next sem onwards, leave it to many others! everyone should have their own fun, i should not take up any more spaces. everyone can be happy then! :)) ♥

and remember about that formspring thingy? i never realised how scary it was. i left a link of it on my facebook info part, but never published that fact (deleting all auto-publishing of having a new link from the wall and newsfeed!). however, oddly enough, many people found the link in less than 3 days. =/ and creepily, people i don't even know. the horrible thing is, EVERYONE seems to like asking anonymously! even people i DO know, which makes it very hard to guess who's who! :( and most people don't have accounts, so my VERY FUNNY friends decide to just randomly bump questions since anyone can write on it. SO CONFUSING! :( and, yesterday, i got a question, "are you attached with d???????" (name cancelled off from here, to prevent questions) LIKE SERIOUSLY what the? evidently, a UB person since the relation to d from school, and really, such questions scare me. who are these people??

anyways, too tired to blog anymore. long day tmr. today was simple, full day in the afternoon, and ending off with dinner together with friends. :)) ♥

hint to the morning! :D

^^ but you can't see anything. :D

dinner at night with derrick, tony and daryl (:

just look at their expressions when the auntie came with the food! LOL! :D

^^ super fat stingray! (:

oh, and i'm sorry i missed a few days. in those, jam packed were com240 vivo dinner, orientation practice, mummy's 48th birthday, and one or two breakfast/supper stuff. i think, i practically lived the last few days in a flurry of blur, i'm too tired. nighty nights, sweetest dreams. ♥

; truth is, we hide it well.

formspring!

2010-08-18T01:32:00.003+08:00

OH. huge mistake, it's not forumspring, it's FORMSPRING. ♥

lmao, i feel like such a blur person with all these online sites. like, okay, i caught on with Facebook really fast because a guy friend kept forcing everyone to join, when like NOBODY was on it at first (everyone was still in Friendster!), but Twitter was something i only started in UB due to influence. (:

and now, there's a new one. okay, not really new, but new to me. :) however, i don't think many of my own friends uses it. i've never heard of it before my good friend started talking about it. :(

yes, i joined! :D i love the pretty oreo background i put up! :)) ♥ lmao, i always feel happier when the site allows own backgrounds, like Twitter's. :D it's so prettyyy! ♥

the super simple yet so cute that way box! :D ♥

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.formspring.me/gracefaith"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;http://www.formspring.me/gracefaith&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

okay, and i officially have like zero friends there since like no one uses it? time to disturb people! :D

bye bye beautifuls! ♥

; i lie awake and miss you, pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.

questions

2010-08-17T23:33:00.008+08:00

so a friend was asking me to upload the photos we took on random daytime breakfasts and nightouts together almost on a daily basis, and of course, the marina barrage event photos into Facebook. so i admitted to him, that no, i won't be uploading those single shot pictures of simple meals with friends, those are too private and i don't intend for it to be up on facebook for all the other UB-ers to see. people will think too much. ♥

meanwhile, i can't run from uploading group events photos, so yes, i will have to upload the marina barrage photos into the Facebook album soon. but i'm trying my best to prolong doing so, until the whole hype dies down a little, or at least until too many people starts requesting for it since i owe it to them to share their own photos.

oh, and on that topic of Facebook... my friend also asked me, "Did you notice that a certain * person is copying you?" and yes, i do. and we're all laughing at that * person during our happy lunch, because we know the different side to certain people. be yourself, not someone else.

questions, questions... "You should open a forumspring!" what the heck is a forumspring? going to google it now. bye bye beautiful! ♥

; hello there, angel from my nightmare.

summer weekends!

2010-08-16T00:43:00.008+08:00

i'm backk! :)) ♥

don't you just love weekends? i do. (:

enough said... picturespeak! :)) ♥

hello gorgeous skyline! (: ♥

everyone brought super yummy stuff, was SO FULL pls! i love everyone's homecook joys! :)) ♥

yes, finally, pictures of the brownies that i was baking while writing the previous post...

^^ i love the red sugar hearts deco! (: ♥

i made the brownies in 2 batches; one with redsugarhearts and the other with oreo cookies yummy-ness! :)) ♥ specially for picnic day with UB group! :D ♥ ♥

rain came! luckily, we had wet weather preparations! :D GAMES INDOORS. (:

the effect we were trying to create:

and of course, what's the most awesome thing other than picnic-ing at marina barrage? ♥

KITE-FILLED SKIES! ♥

it was so beautiful, i simply love open spaces and pretty kites decorating the skylines! :)) ♥

HAPPY! :D ♥ ♥ ♥

kites dotted the skies & clouds(: ♥

^^ my rainbow kite! :D ♥

waterfront playing! :)) ♥

^^ gorgeous, right? (: ♥

dinner time from there, we cabbed down to bugis illuma because i was craving for KOI bubble tea! :D on the way over, we crossed the YOG opening ceremony venue. unfortunately, the koi bubble tea's queue was CRAZY LONG! :( so skipped it and had bubble tea at asian kitchen instead, and dinner too of course. :D ♥

yay! had a funnnn time! ♥

another dates-filled week this week! lunch with sunshine tmr, derrick's return on wed dinner with com240 group after, mummy's birthday dinner on thurs, meetup on friday, and movie with dimple boy on sat. PACKED! :D ♥ ♥

time for sleep! nighty nights! :)) bye bye beautiful! ♥

; i lie awake and miss you, pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.

as the brownies bake...

2010-08-13T23:30:00.008+08:00

burning the midnight oil... baking brownies! ♥

they're for tomorrow. absolutely excited for picnic in the morning! :D

i'm too lazy to take photos of the baking process. so in replacement, here's a pretty rainbow cupcake! :)) ♥

the perfect symbol for baking and my happiness! :)) ♥ i really love summer holidays! :D

and randomly from tumblr,

so true, and i never realised the significance. :) i less than three you. ♥

i'm so hungry. hope the brownies would bake faster! :D

bye bye beautifuls! going back to torres surfing! ♥

; i wonder if i take you home, will you still be in love baby?

felicia's pre-20th!

2010-08-12T23:19:00.007+08:00

no time today! :D so picturespeak! :)) ♥

jason's place! :)

our chef of the day! :D

pretty felly! :)) ♥

and girls do what girls do best... CW! :D ♥

jason the chef displays his awesome cooking! :D

clam chowder cream pasta with salmon, black peppered ham and crabmeat! ♥

cheese & garlic mussels! (:

cheese-stuffed giant prawns! (:

FOOD! :D ♥

thanks to UNCLE JASON! :D ♥

and also for dessert... :)

"family portraits" time, LOL! :D ♥

had an amazing time. ♥

thank you to fel & jason (who also so patiently waited ten years for me to choose all my bracelet stuff after!)! love you guys! :D ♥ ♥ ♥

; don't phunk with my heart.

summer's kind of wonderful :D

2010-08-11T00:47:00.004+08:00

midnight, sharp! :) ♥

oh my gosh! seriously, today, i woke up at about 4pm! so crazy! i blame last night for everyone being up so late! :D hahas, got off the phone with derrick like 5-ish in the morning. super sleepy and basically coma-ed after it! :)

the orientation stuff was opened today, hopefully our whole ub group can get in! ♥ it would be amazing if everyone is in it, especially when it's all our sem-ers, cause it's like, extra, extra fun when everyone is together! it will be EPIC. :D that's why i'm praying that all of us are in it! ♥

since plans with the jc clique was cancelled for the night, was going to have some cookout thingy at derrick's place. but it was changed to just a night out. so in the afternoon, headed over with tony to clarke quay to get some material stuff. sadly, the shop that loretta had so kindly gave me the address for was closed! :( it's up till 6pm only, and cause i overslept till so late, missed it. will have to make another trip there again, soon. :(

dinner-ed at clarke quay! niceee jap place that derrick chose! :)

picturespeak, once again! (because that's the easiest, lmao!) :D ♥

^^ i think it's easily guessable who's hands are those. lmao! :D

OUR FOODDDDD! :)) ♥

^^ glorious right? super yummy! :D ♥ gonna bring dom here one day! :))

see this?

it looks like a normal hardboiled egg outside, but it's actually SOFTBOILED inside! so cool! :D it's super yummy, i was so amazed, lol! :)) interesting. ♥

so in the end...

everyone was SO FULL, really. i love ramen! :D ♥

after it, headed over to city hall to meet syahril! :)) then walked over to timbre to hang out.

^^ my camera taking skills FAIL. seriously. :(

it was supposed to be a group shot, but idk how, I ONLY MANAGED TO GET ONE PERSON. :( totally not used to a BB. =/

ooh, & food for the night? BIGGG PIZZAS! :D ♥

finally tried it, no longer a timbre virgin! i love the cheeseeee. ♥

ooh, did i mention i finally got a manicure? another first time gone! :D ♥

^^ pretty aye? i love the pink shade, gonna find that bottle colour! ♥

i am ONE STEP CLOSER to fufilling my BE-A-GIRL list! :P next up, try a facial or spaaa! :) every girl has done that! :) yay! :D ♥

( pictures thanks to tony's blackberry! ♥ )

i'm so sleepy, got to wake up early tmr morning to go over to jason's place! for felly's birthday! :D can't wait! :)

just a tiny reflection over the past few events... in short, summer's kind of wonderful. and, it's only been a week. :D more, soon. ♥

bye bye beautifuls! :)) ♥

; we'll take a trip to the end of a rainbow, watch the stars crash into the sea.

disney love; fairytale endings

2010-08-10T14:31:00.008+08:00

Cinderella walked on broken glass.
Sleeping Beauty let her whole life pass.
Belle fell in love with a beast.
Jasmine married a common thief.
Snow White barely escaped a knife.
And Ariel, she walked on land.

It was all about blood, sweat, and tears,
because love, means facing your biggest fears. ♥

disney, is usually all about happy endings. however, there is a side that reflects reality and not everything is simply easy. this is one of the things that i love about disney, even princesses strive for their happy endings. :) ♥

anyways, had a fun national day. i never realised i like guys with dimples, until i met him. really, really deep dimples... so cute! :D funny how life works? you think you're going to hate the time spent, and it actually turned out pretty unexpectedly. i mean, i knew him since those super awkward secondary school times, so well, of course everyone has their first impressions. the good thing is, as time changes, so do people. friends mature, they become really... different. impression changes. and you know you've really found someone, when the person has seen in all your grossest, most sillyest stages, and still stay around. :)

that reminds me, i recall two friends of mine who are a couple since forever. and so cute, the girl had a really, really unglam photo of them together when she was just a young teen; pre-braces, pre-weightloss, pre-hairstyling... during the period of time they just got together. and she went, "OMG. how could you have want me then?!" and he sweetly, and in all honesty, replied, "Always would have wanted you." awe, right? :) ♥ i feel so happy for them! :D ♥ ♥ ♥ because really, they're not just together out of superficiality, which is... pretty much a lot more than i can say for some other couples these days. =/ couples should not have secrets from each other. one of my friends were telling me that she was so happy she managed to cover some tracks about how she looked years ago before she 'changed herself' from the guy, and i was stuck if i should ask her, "Do you think he would still love you if he knew you back then?" Because if the answer is no, that is simply the saddest, most heartbreaking reply she'll ever receive. so i stayed quiet.

enough about that.

yesterday night, had an even funnier talk with bestie right after it. handbooks, interesting. :D and talking about dom, last week, because we stayed up at night talking on the phone about stuffffff. it was 2am for me, which is 4AM there for him, lmao. so he was super sleepy the next morning when webcamming that he fell asleep!! :D SO FUNNY, it's like in 2 mins when i was just typing elsewhere, i turned back to ooVoo and i see this:

hahas, pardon the damn gross style, i was at home.

so went to happily take snapshots making fun of him! :P

and he woke up for a moment while i acted blur, then he FELL BACK ASLEEP. LMAO! :D ♥

so random! :D ♥ but funny. hahas, that's like punishment for falling sleep! :) ♥

kays, going to go meet kaiwen, ken and all for dinner at cine. i'm hungryyyy! :) and i love friends-filled outings, can't wait for the marina barrage picnic & kiteflyinggg this weekend! :D and the in-planning skating at ECP and iceskating in the next two weeks. :)) ♥ exciting! bye bye beautiful! ♥

; clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable.

celery, blue whale and cho chang!

2010-08-10T01:57:00.000+08:00

OH EPIC! :D

i love group outings! super random how the conversations flew by, but always, always nice. :)) ♥

reached home at about midnight, just in time! :D i wouldn't miss today, since i had promised myself i would write an entry everyday (except for weekends! i'm allowed a break!). at least for this august holiday, so that i won't forget the many amazing things summer has brought about. ♥

for today, it started out with a really cutely random msg from a friend. super sweet, really made me smile when i woke up in the morning. :) ♥

oh, com240 results were out. i was right, i shouldn't ever bother to study. results always suck when i study for it. :( i really need all A- to get my expected gpa, however, there's really no motivation in school to work for it. and, what's the point in working if studying means lower grades? anyways, brightside! let nature take its course, no point worrying over grades when exams are alr over. just let next sem be better. :) ♥

at the evening, there was a K outing made by kaiwen and gang to go out together. i don't do K, so i opted to only go for dinner, turn out the K was turned into a shopping session, lmao! :D the group of us who chose only dinner complained why didn't they inform us it would be SHOPPING, so we would have gone! lol! :)) so random!

picturespeak! :)) ♥

the 11 people table! :D

K: "This is like the seesaw I used to play when I was young!", which brought about the 'grow longer, grow bigger' talk, lol!

D: "You have to try this! The mushrooms are dancing on my tongue! They're partying!"

D's crepe, which he gave me to some. super yummy! i never knew they put meat into crepes, lol! i know, blur much. =/

my ravioli, which was wayy too creamy for my liking. K finished the whole thing for me, even the cream (which he ate with PIZZA, OMG.)! :)

and talking about pizza...

Something learnt, "Red onions, which aren't actually red."

boys will be boys. :)

...to my front, ken, derrick, wenrong;
to my left...

sky, kevin... ugh, i'm so bad at spelling names, so definitely not going to name everyone. so, and group. and the people on my right, kaiwen & gabrielle. :) ♥

our awesome balloon stealer! :D (because we didn't want to look like little kids taking the balloons!) ♥

my white balloon ♥

ben & jerry's after! :D ♥

waffles and icecream around the table for all. fun filled, and barbeque in planning! ♥

meanwhile, am looking forward to the picnic and kiteflyingggg! :D ♥ and possible zoo outing. so many things to do, so little time! :(

as for tmr, since i wouldn't have the time to write about it, it's supposed to be tanning with jc clique. but change of plans, perhaps dinner on the night instead. :) no matter, clarke quay in the afternoon with tony to get lost together and find my bracelet stuffs! :D ♥ so happy to finally be starting on it.

it's 4am, and everyone's on twitter! :D it's so cute, lol! i'm on the phone with derrick right now, and yet we're still tweeting together. fun!

bye bye beautifuls! (:

; but i can't help myself, i don't want anyone else.

almost midnight

2010-08-09T23:46:00.003+08:00

unexpectedly, it was actually really, really nice. :)

oh, and accidently caught fireworks.

more soon.

national day 2010

2010-08-09T12:09:00.005+08:00

Don't worry about the people in your past
There's a reason they didn't make it to your future

i never really thought of it that way. oddly enough, it's someone from my past that told me that, about my own past friends during that period.

it's 12.30pm, i'm supposed to meet that someone from my past in town at 1pm. crap, i'm late. yet, i'm really dreading it. i just want to stay at home, actually. :( but it's national day, the next most "romantic" day after valentine's day, because of the fireworks. =/ wish he hadn't bought movie tickets already. i would have cancelled.

going to meet him right now. fireworks together? i don't think so... i don't want so. bye.

; it's just not the same without you.

i, you, we all scream for icecream!

2010-08-06T22:41:00.011+08:00

11.59PM! JUST IN TIME. :D yes, i didn't miss today! :)) ♥

finally the time is overrr, so yay! i can eat icecream! :D and guess what i found in the fridge??

MAGNUM GOLD. :D

i usually don't like magnum, because it looks too overrated with all the promotions and all, plus the magnum gold advertisement in the theatres totally cheated dom's and my's feeling that there would be a new awesome movie to watch! :( however, i was craving icecream, and that was the only icecream bar in my fridge since my mum loves magnum. =/

so... going to do 2 first times! first time trying a magnum icecream, & first shot taken with the new absolutely-cheena BANGS. just shoot me (or preferably my hairstylist) please!

bangs & magnum gold-ing; ♥

though really, the colour and gold glitter is so pretty! :)) ♥ show you! ♥

aww, tempting much? caramel drizzles in the middle of vanilla! :D ♥

though, i stick to my icecream brand loyalty, magnum STILL can't beat paddlepop / andersons! :)) ♥ and really, though all that glitters is ~~not gold~~ really pretty, it kinda tastes and reminds me of wayy too much colouring involved. and it's not even rainbow! so, i'm still craving paddlepop! ♥

tutor lessons today, my kid Carter is really cute! i really love how he's so hardworking. he makes me really, really love teaching. :) sadly, i can't say the same for the other girl kid, she makes me wonder what i'm doing here. =/ praying that she'll start to focus, soon. ♥

tumblr-ing randomly, came across a quote by felicia dear.
"A breakup does not mean that anyone’s at fault. It's probably two right people fell in love at a wrong time."

which, is actually pretty true. i've seen many right people, being together at the wrong time. though they're perfect together, they just can't be together. it's quite sad, how life works sometimes. meanwhile, just as much as there are sad endings, there are also many happy ones. and i've met them. ♥

ooh, and to share a video here, embedded so that i can watch it again. in it, there is SO much to learn, so much to understand, and so much to treasure. idk why, but it hurts me even more because he reminds me of my father. maybe it's the psychological "3 kids" thing, but his strong, enduring parental love just reminds me so much of all the sacrifices my dad has made for the family, and even though this video it's a sad one (it's meant to be motivating), i feel like crying.

the man in the video has already passed away from cancer, as he had predicted he would soon while giving that lecture.

i really love almost every line from it, though some special quotes did stand out the most.

♥ "I can't do anything about the fact that I'm going to die. I'm pursuing medical treatments, but I pretty much know how this movie is going to end. I can't control the cards I'm dealt, just how I play the hands."
- as according to one of my other favorite and unforgettable quotes; when life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let everyone wonder how the heck did you do it. :)

♥ "Experience is what you get, when you don't get what you wanted."
- yes, you learn.

♥ "When you're doing a bad job and nobody points it out to you, that's when they've given up on you."
- and that's the reason why we try to to help our friends by telling them what we can. and if they don't listen, or take it to heart as negativity, do we just... give up? i was thinking just this the other day, but the very next line and quote reminded me of a right answer: No. because,

♥ "The brick walls are in our way are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out, they're there to give us a way to prove how badly we want it."
- if i want to help, then i shouldn't let the wall be a barrier, because that's what friends do. i don't build walls, i build bridges to cross over. :) ♥

♥ "When you screw up... Apologise! A good apology has 3 parts: 1. I'm sorry. 2. It was my fault. 3. How do I make it right? Most people skip that third part, that's how you tell sincerity."
- and haven't we all seen friends who are sincere in it? i know of a friend who's going through those steps, slowly but surely. that's where forgiveness comes in, and i know it will come soon. ♥

♥ "No one is pure evil. If you wait long enough, they would show you their good side. You can't make them do it in a hurry, but you can be patient."
- new learning; i will be. :)) ♥

kays! enough deepppp thoughts for the day. :D i will always remember this video, and i actually even downloaded it so that i can always look back and remind myself of the very amazing things worth learning and understanding from it, no matter the years. his lecture lives on. :) ♥

hmm, icecream long finished, starting on a new snack to last me through PLL newest ep...

TWISTIES! :D ♥

it's no wonder my doctor put me on a diet (which reminds me, i've yet to start after almost a month!), i really do eat too much, junk. :(

PLL calling! bye bye beautiful! :)) ♥

; i'd send you a postcard dear, cause i wish you were here.

CJ7-ish!

2010-08-05T20:56:00.010+08:00

aw, i miss a day! i always do that. =/

a bit of flashback, yday had the last com-two-four-tay finals. unfortunately, it also clashed with the day. so crazy, i felt totally suffocated and in pain during the exam that i just left as soon as it was possible to leave the exam hall. i don't think i even read the questions properly before answering them, i just know that i needed to leave hall, asap. so rushed through, shaded as fast as i could, and left.

after it, waited with the group to pass daryl his birthday present that derrick, syahril and i shared together. reallyyyy cute the teddy bear box that derrick chose and folded himself! :D ♥

yay! :D ♥

after school, had night plans with the duckies! :)) meanwhile had a lot of time to kill before then, so headed to AMK for meetup first. derrick accompanied me there, and was reallyyyy patient while i was being my super indecisive self, as always. =/

ooh, there was this big crowd at the escalator area, lots of construction there. we both didn't know what happened, but i found out later from the DDDs that there was a fire the day before that at the escalators. whoa. poor people! :(

about the DDDs, that night after my superrr over-under-estimated appointment (to which i don't want to say what i did cause people will kill me for being so stupid :( ), we went to Pit Stop Cafe! so amazing, hahas, my games-shop first time is given to them! :D learnt a few new games that i never even knew existed before in my life! :)) ♥

it case haven't noticed... soooonnnnnn, to have a new duckies member! :D ♥ so exciting! :)) and i love how membership is totally exclusive to "invite only", LOL! and so does expiration dates though. i love the girly talk too, it's been a long time since this much catch up. we need a girls-only outings, soon. ♥

random note! finally wore the white wedges that was bought with tony! :D it's sooo pretty, and super comfortable, like wearing flats. :)) luckily he insisted that i should get it, definitely no regrets on that. :D ♥

on the topic of prettyyy, last week during my grandmother's birthday celebration at my grandparents' place, i tied plaits for dajie and she looked super sweet! :)) ♥ one of the best things i like about plaits is the natural curls when taking it off! see! :D

and of course, not forgetting the one other amazing sibling! :D ♥

backkkk to today! ♥

i went to cut my hair! AND IT WAS A DISASTER! :(

TWO super huge bad points:
1. "1 inch" trim became a FOUR INCH CHOP. :(
( seriously, tony's right, i should have asked her what's the size of her RULER. her measurement is so different! )
2. MY FRINGE.

OH NO. really, she just CHOPPED IT ALL OFF. :( it's so short now! :( and i only just realised a while ago, it's NOT even slanted fringe, it's BANGS. REALLY BANGS. :( :( :( i look completely cheena-fied, super gross. :( i'm bummed. =/

according to dom, who's seen it on webcam, says it looks like this:

what a way to turn some off! lol! :)

that's when i push it all to the side. since it looks THAT bad, i'm leaving it as bangs till it grows out. so well, cheena me, here i come! "♥" anyways, cause it always makes me feel better seeing the heart there. :D ♥ ♥ ♥

next week's schedule is completely packed! it's going to be SO crazy, but i can't wait! :) though now, with this bangs, i'm honestly a bit not looking forward to anything cause it's just very clown-ish. ahhhh, turn off!! :(

2am! sleeptime! gosh, i really need to fix my body alarm clock. nighty nights! sweetest dreams! :)) ♥

; as many times as i blink i'll think of you, tonight.

study win!

2010-08-03T00:47:00.004+08:00

hiiiii. it's 12.15am, i just came back from school and am overly tired. but, i made a promise to myself to blog almost daily, give or take 2 days a week off cause everyone needs a "weekend". :D so here i am! :)

com two-four-tay today, just one lesson! after school, lunched with ken, terrence, daryl and skye (spell?) before studying together. finallyyyy tried the school's japanese stall, the terriyaki was quite yummy! :)) ♥ quite blur, but i only just learnt today that the miso soup is complementary. embarrassing!

we found a revision room to crash, but... didn't actually start studying till an hour later. LOL! :) guess we made too much noise because the only other guy packed his stuff and went out. more and more our sem-ers came in, i think the room had about 14 people? almost an entire class, half of which i realised i don't even know the names of and there were only two other girls.

studying worked actually. from being chased out of the room to camping on the benches, completed the whole comms book! :) though yes, only read through everything not actual memorisation, i still feel so happy and contented! :D really, i've just never ever even completed the full topics for exams for a VERY long time. it feels good, like accomplished! :)) ♥

kays, got to run! bye bye beautiful! :)

; you don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and sheer.

christopher small who?

2010-08-02T23:20:00.006+08:00

i got murdered by music paper today!

my own fault though, i really didn't have the mood to study. so read whatever messed up of the "mindmaps" i had in the file on the bus to school, and just gave up like less than halfway through. i actually thought it was going to be a pure MCQ paper, so i confidently left it up to chance. however, i turned opened the exam paper and DIE, it's NOT MCQ. good game. byebye, finals!

oddly enough, i'm actually not sad about it? somehow i keep having this feeling that there's more to life than just results right now. :)) ♥

kays, proper daily update! other than finals, i had a superly happy lunch with a good friend from school today! :D

we talked about... well bascially, it was a really nice talk, and he taught me lots of new stuff that i never knew existed. such a techie that i never thought would be in him! LOL! :D lots of creepy stuff too, i would blog about it but i don't feel like it. thinking about it is just scary. :( THEREFORE, to make this entry a more brighter and less creepy one, here is a tumblr shot! :D

soooo cute! :D :D :D :)) ♥ ♥ ♥ really, i'm not a very good tumblr user because i can't find nice photos for nuts. however, thank gosh for friends who knows their way around the net! so pretty the pictures! :D loveee them!

and one LGBT scan that made me laugh!

LOL! so true!! this reminds me of the line, "The number one thing that heterosexuals need to know about gay people is… 1. Relax, we don’t want you!" which seriously speaks the truth. people need to stop being so stiff about homosexuality. i think gays are hot! :D YAY!

FOOD CALL! craving for mango sago! techie is craving for soya beancurd. perfect timing! byee! :))))))) ♥

; the stars lean down to kiss you, i lie awake and miss you.

new beginnings

2010-08-01T02:24:00.000+08:00

it's the month of august, through many changes.

finally, after 7 years, i've changed a new blogskin. my big sister picked it out for me, said it suits, especially with my baking phase right now. was comtemplating (oh the pun!) between this & this, both of which i love colour-wise and for all their simplicity. i've always liked white backgrounds. after an hour, this works. it looks strangely familar though, i think all the cupcake recipe searching and baking love in tumblr has gotten way into my head! i love it nonetheless. ♥

to be honest with myself, i didn't change my template because it's the 7th year. i changed it because of my amazing procrastination skills, finding everything and anything to do other than to study. for music finals, which is in less than 8 hours time. good game. :( idk why do i always do this to myself, to know that i can study, yet not do so.

though really, i was getting a bit sick of the black&white. i need colours in my life, as always. and pictures didn't show nicely in the old boxed design. this is fresh! :D

something else have changed. i used to be s, but not available. now, i'm s, just s. no more guarding, distancing and denying, yet it doesn't mean i'll be jumping into things.

; because i love the way you lie.

roses & butterflies

2010-07-30T22:37:00.004+08:00

HOLIDAY MOOD. seriously.

i'm dead man, falling into the holiday mood right after presentation, just BEFORE the week of finals. definitely NOT a good idea. :( shall i chiong finals the night before, as always? =/ so much for an improving summer. :(

on a happier note, i can't help but feel so relaxed, happily just planning my 3 week break into little dates! :D ♥ seriously, i just love schedule books, it makes you feel so contented just jotting stuff down. :)) ♥ ♥

ooh, about presentation today! the night before, i thought it would be good to go without slides, like the MUS266 and ESL408 individual presentations. however, when rehearsing, i realised what a BAD IDEA that was. i totally didn't know what my slides were really about. :(

thankfully, God is kind, he let me off easy. :D did presentation the usual style, but one thing i was really happy about was that after it, my friend natalie casually said, "You did a good job for presentation!" and i seriously felt SO happy. because to be honest with myself, i HATE my presentations. i speak too fast, i get caught in words, and most of the time, i don't know what i'm talking about. :( so that made my day despite being a casual remark that no one would have noticed ever saying or hearing it. and this reminds me that a simple word or phrase can go a LONG way, so note to self to spread the love! :)) ♥

so YAY! moral value of the day: see the best sides in people, and let them know of it. you never know when you might be making someone's day. (:

meanwhile, back to happy planning and to-do listing! one of which, to start blogging regularly; because i know i will read back someday, ten years down the road, and laugh. ♥

; it's our godforsaken right to be loved, loved, loved.

into the light

2010-07-27T15:34:00.012+08:00

in your quietest times,
you realise who your true friends are.

school's been a drag. really, i just can't get high or enthu over anything/anyone. it's actually quite replusive. =/ to stop certain wrong things from happening, i've been trying to drown myself in schoolwork. not working, since even when staying back in school, all i do is mindlessly surf. school has no focus, and there is too much whirlwind running in the rumour mill. i shouldn't be knowing these things.

one thing i am thankful for is family and siblings. really, what would i do with my sister and brother? they're amazing. i am thankful to God. :)) ♥

within the school walls, i am really, really glad to have 2 great friends; to whom i can freely talk to, be and have secrets with. sadly, i just realised that both of them are guys. girls are... too different. it's especially worrying when being close to guys means hearing their true thoughts about certain people, and it scares me how similar my feelings and judgements are. at the same time, it is worrying to know that some of my girl friends are being viewed this way. i do try to convey 'impressions' across, however, there is a limit to everything.

(29 july - edited post because my uni goodfriend called me up and he mentioned something important and clued me in on stuff. i can't help but feel dejected about certain issues. why do some girls think this is about them?? really, that's completely silly. :( unless you're actually guilty of it, you would not have jumped to the conclusion that it's you. so don't think too much. if you're innocent, then it's not you. really. -- but now i wonder why the several few did. have they actually done something cruel behind your back to fear that it may be them you found out about? scary, and i really hope not. i'm going to take the benefit of doubt.)

i feel like my mind runs too much like a guy. i like things simple, and open. there is too much hate out there, i don't have to add to that surplus. stay simple, stay happy -- "stay ignorant", according to my good friend. true that. i know too much, it's not a good thing. i don't want to know these things. yet in a very contradictory way, i am thankful that i do.

on a brighter note, was talking to bestie the other day, and he makes me want to go to australia sooo badly. i wish i was allowed to study overseas. :( he talked about the people, how it's so easy for nonsensical people like us to fit in there because everyone is open and friendly, even people at the counter. i like people like that. such a happier world. :))

michelle, my friend from sydney, was gushing to me about the place Pancakes On The Rocks, which is something like melbourne's Pancake Palour, but better. i wantttt! :D why doesn't singapore have a place specific for pancakes? :( envy. :) ♥

Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone

You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe

I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise

i've got the hush sound's you are the moon stuck in my head. the song's so beautiful. :)) ♥ random, i know. hahas, but the lyrics are sweet and it's an experience i just had. nothing brings a smile and a real heartfelt encouragement than from a friend who sees you for yourself. that is love.

okay, signing off now. in school, i'll try to get some work done, especially with finals next week, and my way too slack holiday 5-day-long weekend that i self-had. can't wait till school ends, lots of plans, with people i love and am truly happy with! no more school nonsense. :D ♥ bye bye beautiful! :)

; and there is discord in the garden tonight.

vanilla twilight

2010-07-23T22:23:00.003+08:00

wow, 3rd entry this month!

it's been ages since i've actually blogged "regularly". in fact, blogging has became a once-a-month chore than anything else. but today was a bad-turned-good day, and i need to remember how good people can be, so i'm writing this down. :))

horrible morning, really. overslept because my maid spent all her time talking on her phone and therefore forgetting to call me up. was running REALLY late for school, at least an hour late for class via bus (it takes an hour and half to school, everyday!). so decided to cab down the usual 'save money' way; down to lornie road (AMK area) then bus down. i was hoping to be able to go into class during break time, at least.

halfway through i realised that maybe i should cab all the way down to school because i've never been that late before, so i asked the taxi driver man to go straight to SIM cause i was really late for my 12pm class. then as he was driving, i checked my wallet and realised that CRAP, i only had ten dollars with me, the cab ride all the way to school would hit approximately $17 (thank gosh for NON-peak hour classes!). sadly, i had to tell him that i don't have enough money so change of venue back to the nearby bus stop. GUESS WHAT HE SAID?!

he went, "It's okay, I will bring you there! You can count on Uncle! If you take bus, you will be late for your class. I can send you there in time." i felt REALLY bad, so i kept saying no, but he kept insisting. (and i was in his car, so it's not much that i can do about it either way) so he really did. and what's even more amazing is that when i gave him the only ten dollars i had, he didn't want it. he tried to give it back to me because he said that i won't have enough to eat lunch and dinner later, but i'm more stubborn, so i insisted that i don't have to eat lunch and he HAS to take something for being so nice! :))))) ♥

he made my day amazing from then. because of that, i was in time for class and didn't miss anything. plus that timing was awesome cause i bumped into a lot of friends that i've not been seeing around school, like tingggg. :D also, it reminded me of yday when this really kind hearted guy actually walked me to the bus stop cause it was raining, even when his own bus stop was a whole bus stop away (that's like, totally not willing walking distance, esp in the rain!). am really heartened by nice singaporeans, i feel like singapore is a really nice place if everyone is this friendly, open and kind hearted. :)

but of course, there will always be horrible stuff about singapore; like the public transport monopoly. they're ridiculous, and for all the economies of scale that they are reaping, they still constantly raise the bus fares. the dumbest thing is that they don't consider sim a tertiary institution while giving tertiary student concession passes to La Salle and NAFA and foreign students? simply ironic, and a complete waste of my money. i spend about $200 each month just on travel fare. the least they can do is to subsidize local students, not all of us get money from our parents. sorry! but i just had to rant. ridic high prices of transport now, and "distance fares" is such a cheat-money scheme; just another way of increasing transport fares without actually "increasing". BS. i hope that this monopoly would be broken, hopefully the government actually does something about it.

enough rant. on a happier note, i secretly took down the taxi driver's name and car plate from his ID near the front screen. going to write to transcab about this amazing customer service, but of course without the whole detail about him not wanting payment because it might not reflect very well on the management, don't want to get him into any possible trouble. but simply HIGH and way over regular singporean level of standard of being kind and helpful, and making people's day. :)) ♥

-- just came back from a 3 hour long distance phone call with dom. feels SO good talking about everything and anything with him, trashed out like every mood i've been going through the past few days. i love how our convo goes from happy to anger to laughing to angsty to depressive and back in a circle to happy goodbyes all over over. perfect-est bestfriend ever. ♥ and he knows exactly what to say to make me feel happy and contented with everything and myself, and also make me super into going over to australia with all the happy and open and niceeee people. i wish i had an airplane ticket over! :) maybe, soooonnnn! :D

finally! yes! 2 more weeks to END OF SUMMER (aka my 2-3 week short school holidays before 3rd sem starts)! :D can't wait, august schedule is packed with meetups (and hopefully, if ever possible, orientation again just like last break! :D ) okay, it's 4am now, about time to sleep! nighty nights, sweetest dreams. (:

; maybe that is what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.

bus rides home

2010-07-16T22:09:00.002+08:00

have you ever felt so tired, alone and empty?
like here was no reason for every passing day...

...and you just want someone there to depend on.

like today.

on repeat

2010-07-01T03:06:00.005+08:00

i am thinking it's a sign
that the freckles in our eyes
are mirror images and when we kiss
they're perfectly aligned ♥

and i have to speculate
that god himself did make
us into corresponding shapes
like puzzle pieces from the clay

and true it may seem like a stretch
but it's thoughts like this that catch
my troubled head when you're away ♥
and when i am missing you to death

and when you are out there on the road
and when you scan the radio
i hope this song will guide you home ♥

they will see us waving from such great heights
"come down now" they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away
"come down now" but we'll stay

- the postal service, such great heights

hellogoodbye

2010-06-29T02:50:00.004+08:00

take care, bf. :)

come home soon. ♥

♥ like memphis.

2010-05-02T18:43:00.006+08:00

it's finally may! :D first sem's over, exams have ended (and gosh, even though i had studied for only 2 nights, it was still MUCH more work put in than a levels. i want my 3.7 GPA!), and as what labour day stands for, the month of may means HOLIDAYS! :D ♥

which also means that my life clock becomes like this:

too much internet! :D mostly because i've been catching up on the series i've missed (GG, big bang theory, how i met your mother and skins! ♥ ), and since i'm taking a tiny break while TVD loads... here's my entry for the may month! :)) to make things more comprehensible, and admittedly to make things easier for me with less photos to upload into blogger, there's a collage of shots for each. :)

last month, dom and i went on a weekend cruise trip to tan! the food, the scenery, the company was amazing. :))

while he was sleeping like a baby, i was cw-ing outside at the cabin's balcony. :P

this one is super random, from one of our movie nights one or two weeks ago! we had pizza hut! :D super cheese-induced, happy dinner! :))

recently, also celebrated a few friends birthdays! specially to bryannn: happy birthday to locker buddy!! :D ♥ aww, we forgot to take pictures together that night. :(

also celebrated and had dinner with another awesome good friend, tony! :) he's my mum, my jie, and my good friend altogether! :D one of my truest friend in uni. :))

sunday morning, went to church. went for lunch at our family fave's prawn noodles place, and my brother and i cw-ed the whole time in the car! :D ♥

the amazingly sweet man in light pink polo-tee is my dad, btw! :D he's the world's awesomest dad, seriously. :))

just yesterday was charles' 21st birthday event! :D unfortunately, had very, very bad cramps the night before. :( so despite being supposed to be there to help out, i ended up going back home to take pills. the frustrating pain kept me up till 10am the next day before i finally fell asleep... and ended up totally irresponsibly missing out on the helping. :( the whole DDD clique made the party AMAZING though! the balloons, the designs, the deco, the lights, the poppers, the awesome mist spray... seriously, it was party perfect!! :D totally felt like it was charles and sarah's wedding while doing the reception with the rubber duckies! :P ♥

ooh, and i don't think i've posted this, the last time we met up at gardens! :)

honestly, i feel the clique i treasure the most would always be this very special group of friends from primary school. it's like, we've been through so much, difted apart before, came back together and realise we're all still who we are, we're still happy laughing and being with each other. :) and well, for one thing, if friends can go through high belts, long skirts and miss constance tan, we can go through anything! :D ♥

TVD has been newly downloaded! vampires are waiting! :P ooh, i forgot to mention, i'm going to be an OGL for the summer sem freshmen camp!! :D so excited and super happy, now just hoping that my friends would be able to get in too so that it'll be super awesome! :D camp is in 2 weeks time!! :) so, kays, bye bye beautifuls! hope everyone would have an awesome month of may! :))

; you're a hot mess, baby hell yes! ♥

have faith.

2010-04-16T00:44:00.005+08:00

maybe i'm being too clueless... trusting & unsuspecting.
i've always view life more simply:
be nice to others, and others will be nice to you.
i guess, i was wrong. being nice, means others will be jealous, they will take advantage of your stupidity to make themselves feel better. and in the end, you're hated. friends believe the backstabber and think you hate them, when in fact, you're just standing there, doing nothing but wonder what went wrong.

but ultimately, no, i'm not going to take "revenge" or anything, despite knowing everything the backstabber said to me about the others. i'm going to continue being nice, being passive, being myself... because if they're true friends, they would be able to see that for themselves, and believe in what they choose to.

after all, there are more things in life to worry about than bad friends. the constant "weekend earthquakes" is frightening, what's happening to the world?

; people killing, people dying,
children hurt, can hear them crying.

one morning.

2010-04-07T23:40:00.004+08:00

ignorance is not bliss.

ignorance is a lack of trust from others in you.

i can't stand friends who leave out their friends, especially worse when they are so self-absorbed enough to think that they're the one being ps-ed. shows just how little respect they have for your friendship when they don't even realise they're doing it.

though, granted, my almost pointing of the middle finger in public wasn't the nicest move. but, in my defense, i just think people who are so self-serving should not expect cordiality reserved for genuine friends.

i'm sorry, rant should stop. bye.

spilled glitter.

2010-03-21T20:25:00.003+08:00

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive imagination, my internet obsession, my tendency to get jealous. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I miss you. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.

marching on march.

2010-03-20T21:30:00.011+08:00

hello random people! :D while stumbling on my esl essay and munching on awesomeeee ikea milk chocolate, i realised that i've yet to leave an entry for march when it's so near the end. there's too little time for blogger these years. :) okay! gonna go a quick run through, randomly. :D

most recently, i had 2010's very first communications project presentation. seriously LOVE my group, although i admit to complaining at the start before knowing them that why on earth are we given pre-assigned groupings for a module, ever since our very first meetup, i've had no disappointment in having this group. :) we're crazy, full of talking, and never actually having productive group meetings... however, in the end, we do actually work somehow. there's just so much of give-and-take that i've never seen before in group work. it makes me wonder if maybe pre-assigning is the best way to go, kinda goes with the statistics about arranged marriage couples being happier and less-divorced than normal self-responsible love marriages. hmm... food for thought.

anyways, back on topic on COM101 group. our project presentation was a blast of fun (though of course, a whole pack of nerves before it), and tony and i crossdressed for it. :P here are the photos, including our weekly icecream outing to island creamery / marble slab creamery. :))

and about marble slab creamery, these are taken in march as well, during our 1st visit to marble slab together for icecream desserts. :) too many pictures, shall just post this outing, while island creamery outing can be un-blogged. for that day, kai lin and i happen to both wear UB shirts and white shorts, super coincidental. :D

prior to that, of course, we did mall outings to collate info for the proj. :)

march is also natalie's 20th birthday! :)

of course, march's club pictures. in UB, partying seems to be the norm somehow. still a little culture-shock with all the english accents and 'Play HARD, Work Hard' astonishing attitude so many people have there, got to start getting into the hang of doing the same. zouk's mambo night photos...

and, finally, a little of feb's CNY.

unfortunately, my home's laptop crashed, so all my pictures of CNY are gone other than those 3 since they were on fb. got SO disappointed with the crash that i implusively went to the IT fair to get a personal laptop. i think i made a good decision. :)

okay! kinda tired of posting pictures, the rest can be left for my own saving. esl essay time! rahhs! =/ bye bye beautifuls! :))

party fleemosyary.

2010-02-07T02:06:00.003+08:00

OH-MY-FREAKING-TIRED.

it's like 3.30am now, just got home. more photos another day when kailin uploads them. in brief, this saturday's night was fun with the commies. :D super need to crash now! nighty nights, sweetest dreams! byee!

; i've got a feeling,
tonight's gonna be a good night.

king of hearts.

2010-02-05T16:58:00.003+08:00

omg, it's february. time moves too quickly. just this morning, i glanced at my phone's clock and saw the year 2010, and i immediately thought, "Omg, my phone's date is wrong!" until 2 secs later it hits me that it IS 2010. gosh, too fast.

am in CSE class right now, slept at 6am last night to do com101 entry, so right now i'm super brain killed. :( either way, the whole class's on twitter, so i doubt anyone's really listening though the lecturer is really nice. i feel bad. =/ should attempt to listen now.

bye bye beautifuls! :)

; am i bright enough to shine in your spaces?

let's paint a picture.

2010-01-30T02:52:00.007+08:00

believe it or not, i switched on my laptop this afternoon at 2pm all ready and determined to make my saturday a productive day by completing all my dued work. i know, so weird right, only the first 2 weeks of school and i'm already needing to work hard on it. however, it's especially stressful when it hits me that everyone around me actually studies like 2 days in advance for a 10-questions-MCQ / 5 fill-in-the-blacks quiz, while i only grab my lecture notes last minute on the bus ride to campus. how come i didn't see this in a levels while at sr??

okay, beyond the point, back on topic... basically, it's now exactly 13 hours since i've came online and guess what? i've yet to even start on any of the planned work. RAHHS, i hate how work is done on the laptop, i can NEVER get on task with everything else distracting me, like msning, facebook etc, calling for me! :( i think i should find a way to disconnect my internet. =/

sorry, just needed to rant. and yes, blogging is also another distraction from the work i'm supposed to be ~~doing~~ DONE by now.

on a sidenote, despite the workload, i am enjoying school. the people make it awesome and i'm super happy to have friends like wenrong and nat for every module! :D then the every mon & wed regime of meeting up with edwin and yu ting for PSY101. and, girls like kailin and nat make CSE class super fun with all our talks! :D of course, not forgetting the super awesome COM101 group mates, am looking forward to our mall shopping time! :) along the way are many other random people, like how idk how it even started, but there's a gossip girl gang in my ESL class, lol! talk about 'Everyone Speaks Football', more like Everyone Speaks GG. ;) can't wait till The Lightning Thief comes out, then it's whole group outing! :D

oh, on the topic of the CSE111 girls' talk, (Edited out).
.
why am i even writing all of this here? i don't know, it's 4am and i'm not thinking right. it also helps that i'm assuming no one in the current school knows i even have a blog, hence see this, and neither does anyone from sr except my really goodfriends know of this supposed-to-be-kinda-private space. and, it's neither on facebook nor twitter. (yes, embarrassingly, i'm on twitter.
new friends' influence. :P )

okay, 4.02am, time to start my ESL essay.
bye bye beautifuls! :)

; they'll be the king of hearts,
& you're the queen of spades.

2010, twenty-ten.

2010-01-14T01:05:00.003+08:00

for superman, it was kryptonite.
for samson, it was delilah.
for grace, it was... :)

the wait is over, i'm finally leaving you behind. when the clock strikes midnight; you're in my past now.
happy 2010, it's time for new beginnings. :)

ooh, and first post of the year, finally. :) am loving school atm. the people are so nice, and friends are easy to make at every class. and i'm so, so, so happy for one thing:
i'm in communications. :)

i'm glad i took my own stand in going to a course i've always dreamt of taking, rather than go into engineering/literature/arts courses that i have completely no interest in and would probably hate myself for taking up such a course while dying through 3 years of studying it without passion, just because my mum wants the "school rep". even if this means having to kill my savings and work my butt off in order to earn my own allowance for uni, adult bus fare, clothes etc, which means...
i'd better start finding a part-time job asap. :)

and on the topic of nice people and friends.......
hush now. :)

i can't believe we're living the dream.

; something about you blows me away,
like night over day.

this christmas.

2009-12-23T21:16:00.007+08:00

i wish for a kaleidoscope. :(

; i wish i may, i wish i might.

november.

2009-11-07T00:42:00.001+08:00

my favourite month. :)

; if i was crying, you would be lining
the cloud that would pull me through.

able to love, let go.

2009-10-31T01:59:00.003+08:00

the dawn is breaking,
a light shining through...
you're barely waking,
and i'm tangled up in you.

but i'm open, you're closed.
where i follow, you'll go.
i worry i won't see your face
light up again.

i'm quiet; you know...
you make a first impression.
i've found i'm scared to know
i'm always on your mind.

i have, nothing to say about the month of october. or more like, i do actually. but, it's not going to be printed in here, because some things are meant to be unwritten. or at least not for certain people's eyes.

on a random note...

Q: If you had a snail that could talk,
what would you name it?"

Mark: I would kill it, or sell it to the
nearest science centre -- get some money.

my brother has very amusing answers and opinions to many things, i sometimes have to admit that many a times he's a lot smarter than i am. that idiot STILL gets 92/100 for MATH even NOW that he's in secondary school, and, what's even more unbelievable for scoring that high is that he's already in the HIGHER math class in his level! :( i'm jealous. at secondary school, i started getting F9s 5 in a row, and he didn't get any lower than a C5 (CHINESE, LMAO. typical.) for any of his subjects in his end-year examinations. but, beyond all the fun poking i do at him, i'm proud of him. :)

oh, and this has been pretty outdated and i've been meaning to post it for quite sometime but it ran right off the top of my mental checklist. it's a really random msn convo with dom, which made us thinking about how our future would be when he's the godfather of my children and i'm the godmother of his children, LMAO.

one sided road says:
and next time if i had kids they would go like OMG AUNTY GRACE AND DADDY USED TO BE BOYFRIEND GIRLFRIEND

one sided road says:
then my wife will be all jealous and
i will be like shh-ing the kids

one sided road says:
and youll turn red and look to your husband while your husband gives an encouraging smile

---

LMAO. i look forward to the future;
we could never be boring. :)

; even if the stars refuse to shine.

shark finning.

2009-09-18T00:33:00.004+08:00

and you wonder why i hate shark fin soup?

i've mentioned it a lot of times before on how it's basically like cutting off your hands and legs and having your own family eat you alive while you suffocate and drown. then today i found this commercial that spoke my mind, except, it's rather more brutal than even i pictured it. so, if that touching video didn't get your attention... this should put things into perspective on how it's like for sharks themselves.

scary, right? i hate shark finning and the haze. :(

chocolate, chocolate.

2009-08-31T17:15:00.002+08:00

for the sake of an august post (Blame OCAND - Obessive Complusive Archive Neatness Disorder), i'll just speed type whatever comes off the top of my head/heart/in-this-case-tummy. :)

recently, i went clarke quay with dom, and he always goes to the basement level for the specially imported gorceries stuff they have. while he was doing his usual spastic look-at-weird-looking(to me)-pasta-sauce-stuff, i went to my usual section to shop at any supermarkets... The Chocolate Alley. came across this Nestle bar called Yorkie that i've never seen in normal NTUC supermarkets (i have this thing for unseen/newly released chocolate bars) i wouldn't have bought it due to the lack of spendings that day, but the slogan was just seriously irritatingly tempting me. it's,

i was like, RAHHS! i don't care, i'm buying it AND eating it. after 2 minutes of implusively grabbing and paying for it, i realised that i think the slogan is a trap for retardedly sexist/stubborn girls. =/ dang marketing people! :( :( :(

BACK TO THE POINT, anyways, i just ate it today and OMG IT'S AWESOME! :D :D :D :)) (yes, that was the line that made me post this entry. that's how much i digress often. =/ ) not as good as my favoritee Milka bar standards, of course. but close!! :D especially with the fact that it doesn't melt easily, unlike Milka which melts very very instantly when you're just holding it. :( i'm so going there to get more stocks of it! :D :D :D :))

a little bit spas, but i was wondering if it does bad stuff to the body if it's not for girls, like, how mint and soyabean kills a guy's, you know. the idiot-marketing-people reasoning made more sense, so it won over anyways. :P BUT, because of that stupid thought, i went to google 'Nestle Yorkie Bar', like, you know, just in case. gah, i know, so singaporean, LMAO. and yayy, wikipedia has a page on it! See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yorkie_(chocolate_bar) ! :D (okay, so wikipedia may not be the most reliable site, as said by PW teachers 2 years back, but i honestly think it rocks in info.) i realised how slow i was cause it's been around states since effing 1976! slow much? =/ and, i also found this:

guess what?! it's actually in US's ARMY RATION PACK, with TWO of these awesome bars in each pack! like, OMG, i'm jealous!! :( :( :( it's such a giantic bar, plus the marketing people now personalised the ration pack ones for the army people by writing it as It's Not For Civvies, which means it's not for civillians -- who are basically not army men. i know, so random! makes me want to join the US army to see what else they have in their awesome ration packs! :D and...
i still want that big bar. =/

okay! gotta run! bye bye beautifuls! :D :D :D :)) love.

; you're barely waking,
and i'm tangled up in you.

life, fastforward.

2009-07-15T17:36:00.011+08:00

sunday morning,
rain is falling.
steal some covers,
share some skin.
fingers trace your every outline,
paint a picture with my hands.
back and forth we sway like branches in a storm;
change of weather,
still together when it ends.

my mum was talking to me last week about how she won't let me go overseas for further studies. but, i really really want to. i've been saying that i want an overseas education since sec 4, though i know it's impossible due to financial situations, so i was thinking of settling for a local one. but the more i research now, the more i really want to choose overseas over local gov/private. if only. i hate money issues. :( i wish i could study in the university of melbourne; their last batch of communications grads is in 2010, and i really want to be a part of it.

on a nicer topic, dinner with dom yday. :)
pictures, pictures...

awesome dinner. :D rahhs, i was talking to wilson on msn the other day. like, the day before i got the bank job, and he's going army soon! army is taking away all my big brothers. :(

--------------------------

Wilson`TheRocker / says:
when are we going out!

Wilson`TheRocker / says:
haha

hey stranger. you are my signal fire. (: says:
hahas, when i find a job!

Wilson`TheRocker / says:
:(

Wilson`TheRocker / says:
how come?

hey stranger. you are my signal fire. (: says:
cause no job = no money = can't go out

Wilson`TheRocker / says:
u find job = long time = i enter army = botak

hey stranger. you are my signal fire. (: says:
good point.

--------------------------

i'm glad that's settled. :)

ooh, on an uber happy high note,
i love the icecube maker. :)
this is sid, from ice age! :D

talking about ice, we just restocked
on our icecream freezer at home. :D

hahas, yes, ALL OF THAT. :D my family has my little brother and i -- junk food clearers. :D :D :D :))
that will be gone in 2 weeks tops. :)

i've got sunday morning all stuck up in my head. love the lyrics, and the mood that goes with it. bye bye beautifuls, love you. :)

; clouds are shrouding us in
moments unforgettable,
you twist to fit the mold that i am in.

big whoop.

2009-07-09T02:38:00.006+08:00

i've changed my layout design... well, kinda. is it noticeable? LOL! other than the fact that it's bolded and in caps and practically screams out at the page. :P

basically, couldn't bare/am-not-free-enough to change the design+layout+template the way finding a whole new blogskin works. after all, this is still my favorite blog design... even after using it ever since secondary 2. though i do have a private blog to curb my change-the-old-skin urges, not that it's skin had been changed anytime previously. cause it's pretty! :D see:

obviously, printscreen-ed. but also obviously cut, cause it makes no sense for it to be a private blog if the address is known. not that it matters since it's password-locked to self anyways. plus, i've like uber protected it such that even if someone does manage to get into it, no one would be able to read the entries since all the click-on links are hiddened in the layout. :P anyways, i loveeeee the colours! changed it once to this and never changed it ever again. i should stop sticking to favorites, like, start being more adventurous and wannebe-exciting by changing the skin every 3 days or something... or NOT.

it's 2.30am now, ought to go sleep already. bye bye beautifuls! and, nighty nights world! sweetest dreams. :)

; we'll buy a ticket to the end of a rainbow.

breathe, baby, breathe.

2009-07-05T14:36:00.005+08:00

do you believe in karma?

what goes around, comes around.

i've been thinking about a few things recently and i realise that i do believe in it. as much as most people think it's stupid because bad guys do usually win in the real world, i don't think karma actually is all about good-guys-bad-guys. it's more like life? things happen in a circular motion, you would always go back to round one, base point. like, growing up. at birth, you start off in a diaper. at old age, you STILL end up in a diaper, even though you had grew out of it when you were 5. it's like a clock, no matter how fast or slow it ticks, it still goes back to 12am at the end of the day.

of course, telling that to j, he was like "OF COURSE! KARMA IS SO TRUE! My life is filled with it!" i was just confused so he explained his 'karma-filled life', "You see, I believe in karma so much that when I love shopping. Everytime I have to pay the cashier, I think to myself, 'What goes around comes around!', so I'm sure the money will come back! No worries! Next month's pay! :D" at this points he happily smiles to himself like Einstein finding the Theory of Relativity or something... while i wonder to myself how on earth did we even become good friends. like omg! :)

OKAY. anyways, about the karma topic. i know, NO LINK. idk how i end up typing about that when i was just thinking of what lyrics to put as the title. LOL. oh, and that i'm blogging to write about how much i really appreciate the friendship of our RDBs (rubber duckie babies! :D basically, my happy-high primary school clique.). OOH. okaye, i'm awesome,
i just though of a link!! :DDD

see? like karma, it's like we started off as a clique, in primary school... the place where people usually have friends but lose contact with them after sec school onwards / at the maximum, facebook-friend them or something. however, it's amazing how we did lose contact, in the way after primary school, we only met up like once in sec 1? after that the rest of the meetings where either 2 people or 3 people, not as a whole, you know. (except that once with youying's eugene. at j8. sec 2! :P) this happened for 4 years? to me, at least, since i think i was really out of the meetings in sec school. the closest was sarah since we were in the same CCA. kinda funny in the way life worked since jean & youying were my closest in primary school, while i don't talk a lot to jiaying, sarah and jolie. shy la huh! :P but well, basically, i think sec school was still good cause it made the few of us who rarely talk to know each other more; i remember hanging out with jiaying and jolie and going to the hereen to take neoprints during sec 2. hahas. :)

so well, to think about it, even when we all did go our seperate ways in mostly upper sec, everything does go back to base. the most ironic thing in the way life works is that it happens in the oddest time, like one would except everyone to come back when it's like at least sec school when we're going through the same thing, however, it's when we're the MOST different in everything (like for example, our passions/ccas. jean dances, sarah designs, youying sings, jiaying leads, i play touch rugby... it's all so different.) that when we come back together as a clique and started really meeting up frequently. when we basically don't do small talk anymore and more on random things and actual-slash-physical life? LOL. :P

to sum it up: i love them truckloads + lorries + transformer-styled airplane loads! :D ♥
thanks for the awesome friday night loves! :)

since the entry's already on a very not-so-earthly ground, might as well just add in this horoscope life reading i found. i think it's really accurate, to the point of life, self, type of partner, marriage, way of thinking and speaking, image portrayed, people's perpectives, and hopefully, the parenting part would be true too, cause that's exactly how i really want to be with my kids. the kind of parent that my dad is to me. :) here's the extract...

-----------

A Sagittarius woman lacks tact and her flat, on-the-face statements may make you feeling like running away from her. Then, suddenly, she will say something so charming that you will feel as if you are on the seventh heaven. There, you go again; you will be trapped in her charm once more. Once you have been enamored by a Sagittarius girl, you will be staying with her for a long time. She is pleasant, friendly, outspoken and very talkative. Her forthrightness comes form the fact that she has no illusions about the world.

She sees it exactly as it is and says what she sees. At times, you may wish that she were not so honest. But then, she would be like any other girl -- In all probability, you will not like it. A Sagittarian female is very optimistic, but she is not irrational. She will judge the entire situation as per the facts, analyze its probable outcome and still believe that things will get better. Usually, she is very calm and composed. However, when you become rude to her or offend her, she may become a fire-spitting dragon.

Sagittarius women are quite independent and love their freedom. They are attached to their family, but not too much to anyone else. If you want to get something done from a Sagittarian female, just ask her; don't order. She will never ever do it. She is your better half and don't you dare forget that. On the other hand, she doesn't want a sissy for a husband or boyfriend. He has to be a real man, who has his ego and won't stand for nonsense. So, you will be expected to balance politeness with firmness.

I know it's difficult - but then, since when was winning someone easy. With a Sagittarius girl, you will never have to guess. She says what she thinks and how she acts shows what she feels. This bluntness may cost her heavily at times, even to the point of ending the relationship. Still, she would act as if she's not hurt at all and it is just one of the many harmless flirtations she's had. People will even believe all this, while inside she will be weeping and nursing her wounds. All this time, she will be analyzing what went wrong and when.

The word 'marriage' makes a Sagittarian female a little nervous and you will need to tempt her in order to make her settle down. She is a little hard to catch and tends to be one of the boys all the time. That doesn't mean she looks or acts like a man! In fact, she is as female as any other girl is. The society and its norms do not matter to her. She can never be the hypocrite that some people are and tend to wiggle a few tongues. Her honesty and brusqueness further add to the negative opinions some people have.

Don't be fooled by them. Look deep inside a Sagittarius female and you will find a woman who is so enthusiastic about life and who trusts easily. In fact, this extreme belief makes her heart vulnerable and defenseless. It gets broken too often, but then, she knows how to move on with life. You will be tempted to care for her. It's natural. There are hardly any people who can resist the bright and charming disposition of a Sagittarius girl. She will not be too good with money and will most probably be on the extravagant side.

She is very sentimental and emotional, though it seems otherwise from the outside. It just that, where her innermost feelings are concerned, she would never dare to show to others. After marriage, your house will always remain sparkling clean, even if you don't have a maid to do that. She cannot stand sloppiness, it doesn't appeal to her sensibilities. She may not be too good at cooking, but she will also not burn your egg every day. A Sagittarian girl may pass the most sarcastic comments when she is angry, but she will forget the resentment soon enough. Then, she won't understand why are you so upset.

As a mother, she will be very friendly with the kids. In fact, she will be more of a chum, than a mom. Only, you will have to teach them to take her bluntness with a pinch of salt. Apart from that, she will be wonderful and make them as independent as she is. She will be a lovely hostess to guests and make them feel at home. Just let her be what she is. Don't try to change her and don't curb her individuality. She will brighten your life with her optimism, boost you with loyalty, trust you blindly and shower her affection on you. She will encourage you to see dreams and help you in making them come true.

-----------

hahas, dom would totally agree to the part about the sarcastic and mean comments from straightforwardness and being so fustrating that he would feel like killing me. he just told me recently that if i could be reborn all the time, he would have killed me so many times before, cause i can be so fustrating that he feels like strangling me on the spot. like, i'm completely clueless when i actually piss someone off by speaking what i really think, or if i'm being mean by saying the truth, and when the person gets pissed i'm seriously really confused over why. but my friends understand that i honestly really don't mean to be mean and that i really don't know it was too blunt, so yayy, love my friends! :D for being so understanding. :) and my bestie! for not killing me during all those 895219752048289074y62 times! :D :D :D :))

oh a sidenote, i've got a job at a corporate bank. me. the girl who hates business. i can't believe i even got the job in the first place; i sucked at the interview. major. =/ as updated, i would be doing finance trading. wish me luck! i'll need it for those credit banking for import and export stuff. =/

gotta run now! bye bye beautifuls! :D :D :D :))

; bounce bounce, baby, bounce back to me
-- you don't need him.

thinking of you.

2009-06-25T21:51:00.003+08:00

he kissed my lips,
i taste your mouth.

cause when i'm with him,
i am thinking of you.

quite a huge load of stuff going on with life recently. just, really confused? =/ and i'm also wondering, when will all these fights/bitching/arguements between friends to friends stop? i thought it would the moment school ended, when we're all done with the a's and moved on with real life. seems like it doesn't end so easily, and i really don't want to get pulled back in again. oh, random people,
don't take it to heart; this is more than just 2 or 3 issues
strung together, not at all specific.
i am an oddly confusing person.

should i go overseas for a uni degree? i really want to study communications, but singapore's only school that is good in it is NTU, but you need AAB with gp at least a B to even apply for it. my grades sucked; i had BCC. really shouldn't have played jc life away as just "another o levels", but i have no regrets somehow. idk why either. UK seems inviting, but crazy expensive. australia is the cheapest; but i can bare leaving my brother and sister for 3 years? i don't think so.

everyone's recommending courses like business and law if going overseas or private unis... 2 words, NO WAY. asking me to take law/business is like asking me to take engineering, i would hate it. i have zero interest in such courses, i see nothing to be proud of in them.
i wish i could do a uk degree in communications;
now that is something to be proud of.

back to point one, money matters. overseas are very hefty choices. maybe i should stay in singapore and do arts, which i don't even like. =/

on a more less-serious topic,
i ♥ the pasar malam at the interchange! :D :D :D :))
seriously, happiness fills my heart! :D

oh yeah! recently caught Ghost of Girlfriends Past.
i liked the movie; really uber touching. :) :) :)
one line really got to me:

"The power of a relationship
lies with whoever cares less."

i think it's true, in it's way. but the next line coming up, "And he's right. But power isn't happiness." is also just as true. from the 1st line, i think it hurts the most. it's precisely this fear of being hurt that makes me unable to give my everything in a relationship. from hearing bad things from good friends who know the person better than you do, all the way to fearing how you may just be a stepping stone along the way -- not a destination at the end. i wish happy endings existed too.

okay, enough deep talk, i tend to sidetrack a lot! =/ just one last extra point, i really really like the actress playing the bride-to-be! i feel that she's a real sweetheart! :D i hope she'll get more movies! :) :) :) transformers with my brother soon! can't wait for that! :D :D :D :)) why? 2 words: megan fox. :D

one combine shot to cover last week! :D

awesome sleepover! the place was so much more like a hotel overseas than singapore itself. but where ever the place is, i feel the best part was the company. :) love you girls truckloads! :D ♥

kays, gotta run now! it's like 10pm and i've yet to have dinner! :( :( :( hungry girl. :( bye bye beautifuls! :D

; you are my kind of beautiful.

barbie pink & candy colours.

2009-06-15T20:45:00.010+08:00

i am really happy with the summer pink colour of my nails now! :D surprisingly, they actually look nice short! :D plus, I LOVE MY TAN! :D :D :D :))

okayokay, i know, that was really random.
but it's true! :D :P

back on track! it's been ages since i had really blogged properly. like, about recent happenings, about life, about self. instead of random nonsense that i usually just throw out off the top of my head, just for the sake of a blog entry update. =/ oops. ANYWAYS! first up, recent happenings. since my memory is really short term, i'll just go with the present/future happenings kays? :P
(plus previously-forgot-to-post pictures of the special people inside the events-to-be!)

TODAY (MONDAY)!

i went tanning at sentosa with bestie! :D :D :D :)) awesome time, awesome results (a bit too dark, but nevermind, it'll fade a bit and look nice!), awesome weather! thank God for that! :D :D :D :)) especially since there were so many obstacles before it, like how the weather forecast showed thunderstorms in many areas of singapore and then sentosa's weather forecast showed major cloudy. it didn't help when there was this hugeee black cloud lingering just slightly to the right of our bed. :( but yayy! turns out, the clouds were barely there, so full sunshine! :D :D :D :)) plus the dark clouds didn't shower. :) so basically, I'M TANNED! :D
no more pale white sadness! :D :D :D :))

TOMORROW (TUESDAY)!

i'm going to bring my little brother out! :D :D :D :)) so far during his june holidays i've only managed to bring him to hougang mall to play the archade, get bubble tea, and go to the rooftop playground behind the archade. not being much of an awesome sister. :( ugh, and speaking of the archade, i got asked by a sec 2/3 boy for my number. like, i'm practically old enough to be his mum! =/ so gross! :( SO, i've booked him tmr and gotten parental consent to bring him out for movie and to bugis to play the major big archade with all the awesome picking up games! :D :D :D :)) you know, you can even pick up ben&jerry's icecream! cool right? :P

WEDNESDAY!

dinner with locker buddy! :D :D :D :))
TEN YEARS PLEASE! :P totally need to pass you your birthday present & card! :)

THURSDAY till FRIDAY afternoon!

chalet at youying's country club with dearest rubber duckie babies! :D :D :D :)) my ever-adorable primary school clique! :D :D :D :)) my first sleepover too! :) hahas, can't wait for it!! :D

FRIDAY evening till SUNDAY morning!

weekend cruise with mummy and my physco-siblings! :D :D :D :)) am hyped up over this cause the food is awesome as usual, and it's with dajie & mark! the room will be noisy. :P plus pool slide that i can finally play since i won't feel weird without them going retarded there together! :D

end of this week! :D busy, busy, busy. :) event just ended yday; end of work! finally get to rest! :D
need to find a new job asap! :) :) :)

okie dokie! got to go sleep now. :)
nighty nights beloveds! :D :D :D :))
sweetest dreams. (:

; and your heart starts to wonder.

chace / nate!

2009-06-09T22:54:00.003+08:00

yup. i've finally given in to the nags to watch the gossip girls series, and i honestly don't get what's so addictive. ed westwick / chuck in the series isn't that hot, maybe cause i'm still on episode 5. =/

BUT, there's definitely ONE eyecandy that's making the series worth the hours. :D

^^ self-explanatory. (:

kays, need to do some stuff. love you! :) :) :)

; it's never too late to relight the fire.

the only thing better than cookie dough.

2009-05-15T22:17:00.008+08:00

ethan, ethan, ethan. ♥.

cause if one day you wake up
and find that you're missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth i could be
i'm thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street
so i'm not moving
i'm not moving.

on a darker, less high and less happy, note: someone has been using my msn for the past few weeks. like, anyone who knows me would know that i'm usually (99.7% of the time) on appear offline mode. i dislike turning up "online". however, someone, i have no idea who, have been using my msn like almost every day, sometimes 2 to 3 times in one day, for i-don't-know-what reasons. =/ like he/she actually uses it and stays online for hours at a go. however, it's kinda my own fault as well because i'm still not changing passwords since

1) i have a really awful memory, my current password has been there since primary 6? it's a really weird password, i have no idea how anyone would be able to decipher it since it was a really long ago slang way of writing, and
2) the person seems really nice and not mean or anything by harming/disturbing my friends. the only thing is that recently he/she started replying my friends who talk to me with emoticons, like a dog-faced one to locker buddy yday. =/ my impression of the "nice hacker" is starting to be a bit ruined.

above all, the only other thing that i know is that the person is not in army, since he/she is online on a daily basis even on weekdays, and that he/she has the really bad msn virus on his/her computer. you know, the one that msgs all the friends about "diet pills that work". so just a warning to everyone, please don't click whatever link it sents, that goes for all your friends' msns as well since the virus is kinda huge right now, AND that if i'm not replying you on msn / it doesn't seem like a very me convo, then it's probably not. =/ do inform me about it too, kays? :) thanks dears! :D

new found love: ben & jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough icecream! :D :D :D :)) i used to hate it really badly last time, the first few times i tried it i really disliked it, but for some reason i started loving it during these past few months. i actually only like the dough cause i'm still not a vanilla icecream lover yet. so well, cookie dough now stays sky high with cookies & cream and rocky road! :D no longer in the bottom list with yucky chocolate chip (cookies & cream ALWAYS! chocolate chip is a VERYYYY bad substitute for the oreo cookies! R-A-W-R!) and weird yam icecream. oh, and i don't like pistachio, because i used to always buy mint with chocolate chip icecream when i was young and suddenly pistachio popped out and i ALWAYS bought the wrong one due to the same colour and ended up with a very bad aftertaste on the lips. :( :( :( especially when you're a kid and you don't get to have your favorite mint with chocolate chips icecream often, getting pistachio really sucks. =/

GOSH. i just typed a whole essay on icecream flavours. i'm sorry! =/ anyways, back to topic title... above all that, there's only ONE thing/person better than cookie dough: ETHAN. ♥♥♥ heart's ablaze.

gotta go! bye bye beautifuls! :) :) :)

; if she changes her mind,
this is the first place she will go.

for the month of april.

2009-04-29T22:43:00.002+08:00

again & again and again & again
do it again, do it again
again & again.
it's a shame, it's a shame,
it's a perfect shame,
creep under my door and do it again.

i've not been a very good blog updater. =/ anyways, finally changed the background song, 'leavin' was starting to get a bit pokey after a while, like it literally makes you pump-bounce-twig in your seat, head first. rahhs! so well, now it's 'again & again', a trance-like song that really gets to me somehow ever since a few months back, finally been able to find someone with it in his phone. ten years pls! :)

see you later alligator! :)

rainbow.

2009-03-16T20:36:00.010+08:00

so a friend of mine and i were arguing about colours.

J: "What's your favorite colour?"

me: "Light pink, royal purple, baby blue. Basically most pastel colours, and Rainbow."

J: "Haha, no, rainbow isn't a colour! Rainbow is an assortment of colours."

me: "Huh? No! To me, rainbow is a colour."

that went on for quite a while longer...
yes, i won. :D :P

idk why, but i just remembered that in secondary school, there was this chinese teacher called mr sim who used to pretend there were ghosts living in the class. like, halfway through the lesson, he'll stare into an empty space near the walls at the back of the class where it's near the tables of a few classmates and go "Xiao Ming, don't disturb them. Good boy." =/ and my classmates would start freaking out thinking it's real, and he'll laugh but insist there's indeed a "Xiao Ming" and a "Xiao Qiang" in the classroom. :) but then again, he's also the teacher who created this huge spelling test called The Mother Of All Ting Xie test. :P

hahas, okaye, a superly random update. :)

oh yeah! i've just changed phone. :D :D :D :)) it's light, pastel pink; my favourite colour. :)

aww yes, didn't mean to give up on being a nokia user. my dad just bought it for me as a "meanwhile phone", cause my current one is totally dying, can't take any calls since it's mircophone is spoilt so whoever calls can't hear a thing from my side. :( i love my red-white nokia one sooo much pls, totally wanted to get it repaired, but that would be like the 4th time i'm repairing it, and it's pretty evident that it'll die again soon anyways, so my dad refused to go fix it again.

hmmm, but i think this "meanwhile phone" will be with me for more than just the length my dad bought it for. firstly, because even though it's just supposed to be a substitute till i find a phone that i love and is nokia, i'm finally getting into my head that nokia probably won't make any nice phones anymore. secondly, i didn't want sony ericsson simply because i can't type on it and can't find my files and it's too tech-looking inside. however, that's solved cause i'm kinda getting used to it, it doesn't lag as much as expected, and yayy i love whoever created THEMES cause it's seriously bringing more life and interest to the phone. :D :D :D :)) ohh, and i've find my files, not in the Media section but in this file manager thing, which is good cause i still get to use my folders then. :D thirdly, it's an effing $538 at M1 shops which is pretty pricey for a "meanwhile phone". =/ forthly, PINK EARPHONES. :D :D :D :)) okay, it does have mostly black, but the ear pieces are the same pastel pink. well, so pink earphones, that says it all. :) plusplus, there's this really cute tiny bird at the back of the metallic slide part with random patterns. super adorablee! :D :D :D :)) YAY. so okay, i'm a happy girl! :D

alrights, gotta go! dinner time! :D :D :D :))
bye bye beautifuls! :)

; your eyes are the brightest of all colours.

haitus over.

2009-03-09T15:38:00.003+08:00

it's been superrrrr long since i've blogged. but whoa, there has been a sudden rise in viewage. i guess since a's results is over, everyone's probably bloghopping to check out individual results. for the sake of those people... hahas, i won't leak it all out. :P

for the record, i didn't do well. but didn't cry or anything because 1) i've never ever in my entire life cried over results and am pretty happy about that, not going to break the thrend, and 2) i know i didn't study for A's till the day before, and exactly how many essays i've left out doing due to baddd time management; judging from that, i don't think i even should be getting a pass in most subjects. =/

feelings wise, i'm horribly disappointed/stunned for math. like seriously, just kill me! it was the only subject i was really confident in acing, yet i had an effing retarded B for it. i was just... just seriously stabbed in the heart. :( oh, but omg, i passed econs after only 2 essays and 1 drq. happiness, yet still disappointed somehow, i guess i was reallyyy betting on the previous o level luck. =/ lit... i didn't do the othello essay at all, but i was expecting at least a B... but no. :( my GP died somehow, i think it was my essay. overall, you can pretty much see that my results were reallyyy bad. :( just hope i can get into the arts course that i want. =/

after friday, left for cruise for the weekend, couldn't reply anyone's messages, so sorry dears! :( had a rather awesome trip, met cuteeee actors. hahas, good food. :P am going to have a really good week ahead, then go uni viewing during the weekends. :) bye bye beautifuls! :D :D :D :))

; it takes rain to make rainbows. :)

feb post! (:

2009-02-07T16:19:00.003+08:00

a very, very random note...
emma watson would have made a better Bella Swan.

above all, forget Edward, Spike is still the world's most awesome vampire. must be faithful. lol! :P

"When I tell you that I love you, it's not because I want you or because I can't have you -- It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your strength, and your kindness. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman." - Spike, Buffy 200-something.

rahhs, my post per month basis is back again. oops! =/ :)
yayy! love you xoxo! :D

; this is it, equipped with honesty.

edward cullen.

2009-01-06T23:45:00.009+08:00

it's strange to think that i'm by-year nineteen now, even though i had only just celebrated my 18th birthday about a month back. 3 different ages in a span of a month; once 17, just turned 18, yet now considered 19. it's fast how 'time' passes this way, pretty amazing. :) i guess, not everyone can say that about themself right?
3 years in a month...
happy 2009 :)

"like a soap bubble
-- fragile and ephemeral.
temporary."

a new year, a new found love. my very first post is absolutely dedicated to my very first non-human boyfriend. he is a sexy 108 years old; which only shows how matured and awesomely wise he really is. yay! :D :D :D :)) (i know, my thought are incoherent and rather un-sane to regular humans -- but it's not my fault that i've been spending too much time with my sexy vampire boyfriend. :D) yay x2! :D :P

i am still very stunned and 3/4 through the process of melting in his gaze as the quotes from the series flicker back into memory. "distract me, please." :) how apt.

and NO, i'm not talking about the twilight MOVIE. honestly, read the book and the whole movie will seem absolutely retardedly wrong in every sense. the book is a gazillion times better. i have no comments about the movie characters of dr. cullen, edward cullen, alice cullen, emmett cullent, jessica stanley, mike newton and charlie swan just the perfect choice; the actors/actresses fitted the roles in the book itself. but the fit that really didn't match was bella swan herself, which is sad! i was picturing a rather more innocent looking actress, the actress in the movie itself looked a lot more angry than seemingly "indifferent" as in the book. i don't really know how to explain this. they should have chosen that girl in this random music video that i remember seeing, she's perfect for the role. long brown hair, matured in thinking look yet babyface at the same time. that is totally more bella swan than the actress in twilight itself. =/ on a brighter note, edward still turned out hot in the movie, thank gosh! :D he's the whole core of the book and its series. :)

on a sad note, i don't have job. :( i'm ashamed. 2 months back, i'd picture already working on the 2nd month and being able to help out with the family's finances. however, right now the picture is different and my adult fare prices is totally not helping me at all. i don't even have an allowance since a week or two before a's ended! how am i going to come out with topup money? :( :( :( i suckkk. :( i have WAY too much limitations; hence the impossibility of finding a suitable workplace (oh boy, you've so not seen my expectations). this feeling of uselessness and taking-up-of-floor-space-at-home suck. :( i want to work! does any icecream/cookie/brownie/soft toy place pay more than $6 an hour on the purple line? =/ didn't think so either.

babysitted little bernice again a few days back, she's getting more grown-up now, a bit mean somehow (she called my little brother "siao cha bo" which means crazy in chinese). she's also getting amazingly more adorable and PRETTY! :DDD honestly, no one can make fun of my phone's wallpaper by calling her a boy anymore, she's so girlishly adorable now! :D :D :D :))

she likes the lollipop i gave her! :D hahas, love her la huh. i finally managed to teach her the different between green and blue in colour tones! she's smart!! :D :D :D :)) fast learner, even though she broke a sweet glass by reaching too high. she's definitely getting taller than before. hahas, adorable. :)

okie dokie! gotta run, need to meet edward in bed (more physically specific, the book on my bed which he's inside. LOL!). hahas, okaye, spaser. yes, i know. love you! bye bye beautifuls! :D :D :D :))

; you're exactly my brand of heroin.

for locker buddy.

2008-12-27T22:09:00.004+08:00

bryan yam a ling a lingg! :)
see? i do blog! :D :D :D :)) :P

bet you've never tried this before! :P it's only about SGD$1.10 and sold at macs at thailand. don't be jealous! :D :D :D :)) even though singapore would never sell this at such a rate! :P and yayy yes! i bought the chocolate one. :DDD

on a random note, hello world! i'm backkkk! :D

love you, xoxo! :D

; i don't want another pretty face,
just you & your beautiful soul.